Hated
by Gothic Candle
Summary: What's it feel like to have no one to love you, care for you, or ever want to know you?
1. We first meet

Hey my fellow writers. Here I am again for a new series. By the way decide weather you want to read this series now, because I can guarantee that it will be incredibly depressing, and might even bring a tear to you're eye. Ok now I sound lame. But please review because I've been under a bit of depression lately and they'll probably make feel happier. Well anyway please review and pretty much enjoy this.  
  
One more thing, in this story Monica has always been thin and never was fat. Rachel, Joey and Ross are a gang and they hate Monica. Monica's a loner and has no friends. Everyone doesn't know Phoebe and Chandler yet. And as you know this all set in their high school years.  
  
*~Chapter1~*  
  
The school bell rang and hundreds of pupil's rushed around the corridors in search of their classes. Everyone was chatting away about what they did over the Summer Vacation, and was uncontrollable now they were reunited with their mates. Well that's if they had any mates unlike Monica Geller. Monica was an unpopular student for some reason, which left her all alone in the corner. Everyday she'd watch all the other teenagers having a great time with everyone else, but friendship was something else altogether. Boyfriends were almost impossible for Monica to get since she was so unpopular. But that wasn't her only problem. Almost everyday, Monica would be bullied by a certain gang who couldn't care less about what they were doing to her. She'd come home and would burst into tears with no comfort from her parents. Yet the sad thing was, Monica's very own brother Ross was a member of this gang with his mates, Rachel and Joey. So all this goes without saying, that Monica's life was a mess.  
  
"Well if it isn't the famous little Harmonica!" Ross yelled as him and the gang bumped into Monica. "Hey Mon I got a new mirror over the vacation and I don't want you near it." Rachel announced as they cornered their enemy. "Oh why's that?" Joey asked. "For fear of this bitch cracking it when she looks in it!" Rachel replied giggling as everyone high-fived with her. "Nice one Rach." Ross explained snarling at his little sister. "Why do you do this still? Don't you think it's gotten kinda old?" Monica quietly said trying to walk away. "Trying to get away just like that?! Well I swear if you try to out smart us, I'm gonna kick your ass." Joey threatened pulling her back by the shoulders, as hard as he could. "Got that?!" Ross shouted watching her freak out in the fear of what he was going to do next. With a terrified nod, the gang slowly headed off to their class. Once they were out of sight Monica felt her eyes prickle from the tears trying to escape her eyes. She wasn't gonna cry after some losers trying their hardest to annoy her. Monica knew she was tougher than that, or was she? Gazing up at the clock on the wall she realized how late she was for her lesson. Pelting down the corridor Monica crashed right into someone. "Oh my god are you okay?" asked a sweet voice from in front. "Yeah I'm fine thanks." Monica replied as this guy helped her up. "Are you sure, you kinda look a little dizzy." He asked once again. "No I'm fine, really I am." Monica explained feeling a little embarrassed.  
  
"No I'm not fine I feel awful. Oh god I'm so humiliated at this, I mean you're sexy, cute, and so goddamn perfect. Man this is all I need!" Monica thought miserably putting on her best fake smile. "So what's your name? You look interesting." He announced gazing into her twinkling crystal eyes. "GELLER!!!!" screamed an angry yet familiar voice. Turning sharply around Monica saw her batty old science teacher looking furious. "Why didn't you turn up at your lesson?!" he yelled approaching her. "Erm.I-I.well-" "I don't care for an explanation! Get down to the headmaster's office now!!" the teacher shouted tugging at Monica's arm. Before Monica could say 'bye' to her nameless friend she was in the headmaster's office. Things were about to get nasty.  
  
~*~  
  
"So I had a shout at my ex-boyfriend for about 2 hours, and finally hung up the phone in thick tears. I mean what sort of jerk would come to my prom wearing the carpet.err Chandler.Chan are you even listening to me?" Meena nagged glaring at the staring-into-space Chandler. "Hmm?" Chandler mumbled coming back to reality. "Oh forget it Chan. God you need to get with it a bit. Anyway what were you thinking about?" Meena questioned as she brushed her ginger locks into all sorts of styles. "Thinking about that gorgeous girl that 'accidentally' bumped into me earlier on. Wow she was cute. If only I could be with her and not you, Meena." Chandler thought dreamingly. "Helllloooo?" Meena exclaimed waving her hand in front of Chandler's face. "God what is your problem?!" Meena spoke coolly again as her cheerleader pals came into view. "You talk to much." Chandler snapped watching Meena totally ignore him. "Catch ya late Chan, I got some cheerleading practice with Hally and Gabby." Meena told rushing over to them. For once Chandler was alone in the library. He could never get a moment's peace when he hung around his chatty girlfriend, Meena. Even though they were dating, Chandler preferred it this way. But there was still one problem. That girl. She was so beautiful and sweet and kind. how come he'd never come across her before? Anyway that wasn't the point; Chandler didn't even know he name yet he was describing how he felt towards this girl. Wait, he was with Meena the perfect one for him as he thought. But was she the one? Was Meena his soulmate?  
  
~*~  
  
Monica miserably walked back from the headmaster's office, after a 2 hour lecture on never being late. She was furious; Monica had missed her lunch and about 3 lessons. But she'd missed something else as well. Monica had no idea who that guy was. He was absolutely adorable and sweet and most of all. he was the one. There was a miniature chance that she might ever see him again since there were hundreds of pupils in the school. It would have to be fate to bring them together.  
  
Suddenly Monica felt herself fly forwards. Then she could hear the awful giggling going on in the background. "Loser!" giggled someone's voice. "Nice one Jade." Spoke another voice. Pulling herself up, Monica glared at the spiteful teenagers all around her. They'd tripped her up for a laugh, not caring for how much it hurt her. Without even caring Monica felt the tears spill out of her eyes. This only made them laugh more. But this wasn't it. "You're such a sad bitch!" Yelled Jade as she kicked Monica in the side. "We're gonna fucking kill you!!" Before anything could happen, Monica jumped up and punched Jade hard in the face. Jade fell to the floor with blood smeared across her nose. "You little slut!" screamed a few voices from the crowd of teenagers. Monica then started to regret what she'd just done. She'd had it. "I'm gonna make sure my brother gets hold of you." Jade warned as her friends helped her up. "Yeah we swear he'll finish you off Geller!" shouted a few people. Before even thinking Monica pelted out of the scene and just kept running. She was totally gonna be beaten up by Jade's brother. There was no escape.  
  
So what did you all think? Well I don't really know what to think. So review please coz you know, I'm a lil' depressed. See ya around. 


	2. I ruined everything

Hey everyone! Thank you so much for the reviews. They really were wonderful. Well keep them comin and enjoy.  
  
Monica knew there was no escape.  
  
~*~  
  
"So you want me, to beat up some kid coz she punched you?" Chandler asked as him and his sister walked to their next class. "Precisely." Jade replied shortly. "So how are we gonna track her down, do you know her name or something?" Chandler questioned again. "Monica. I know where she lives so we'll be able to beat her up when she walks home." Jade explained. "Well I was thinking me and my boyfriend go off ahead while you wait behind. We'll knock her down and stuff then you can finish her off ." "Fine but won't we get in trouble?" Chandler requested as they grabbed their books from their lockers. "No coz it'll be outta school!" Jade announced rushing off ahead.  
  
So he had to beat some lameo up after school. Fine with him. But what he really was bothered about was the girl. He so badly wanted to find her even though they'd only just met. She was perfect, a goddess even.  
  
Chandler just sat through his class dreaming of having her all to himself. He could feel her soft lips meet his. He felt his hands slide all over her delicate body wherever he wanted. He could hear her moans as they made love. If only it were real.  
  
~*~  
  
Just as the bell rang, Monica grabbed her things and pelted out the door before anyone else. She was terrified about what might happen to her on the way home. What would they do to her? Monica was vulnerable to a load of gangsters, especially girl's boyfriends. They were often seen as the worst. Crossing the road, Monica ran up the sidewalk, which was darkening every moment. They couldn't have been out of school as early, they probably had clubs or detentions or something. But the thought of it all was horrific.  
  
"Trying to escape us r ya?" yelled a boy's voice. "Told you that there was no escape." A girl's voice whispered in Monica's ear. Jade and her boyfriend cornered Monica. "So you hurt my girl did you? I swear bitch you're gonna pay." He threatened his face inches away from hers.  
  
"Come on Jade." Chandler groaned from behind a bush about 20 yards away from them. He was waiting for his cue. But Jade and her boyfriend Marvin were still talking to her. Staring closely, Chandler still couldn't make out who this girl was. She was way to far away for him to see properly. And then he saw Marvin hit the girl hard in the face. "Nice one." Chandler whispered to himself. Then he saw Marvin punching her over and over till she fell to the ground. Jade kicked her as she tried to crawl away. It was Chandler's cue. He jogged up the road towards the scene. "Hey Chan, look what my Marvin knocked down." Jade boasted as Marvin shared a kiss with her. Staring down Chandler saw what he dreaded most. "It's her!" Chandler gasped crouching down beside her frail body. "What?" Marvin asked. "You beat her up!" Chandler screamed giving Marvin a blow to the face. "Chandler!!" Jade cried as she comforted Marvin. "Come on let's get the fucking hell outta here!" "Oh my god, are you okay?" Chandler whispered holding her up. "No, help me please." Monica trailed off as her cheek, lip and nose continued to bleed. "Let's get you to my house. It's gonna be okay, I swear." Chandler explained picking her up, and carrying Monica off back to his house.  
  
"What's your name?" Chandler asked later on as he held in his arms, as they entered Chandler's house. "Monica, Monica Geller." Monica explained weakly. " I'm Chandler Bing. Now Monica I'm gonna get you cleaned up." Chandler suggested laying her down on his couch. "Thank you so much Chandler." Monica replied as Chandler walked back in with a bowl of water and a flannel. "I can't believe people would want to do this to you." Chandler said, feeling the scene fly in and out of his mind. He gently ran the smooth cloth under her blood-soaked chin and over her cheek. She flinched in pain as he did so. "Sorry." Chandler chirped watching her smile. "That's okay." Monica replied sweetly. Once he'd cleaned her up, he stuck a plaster over the cut. She looked quite cute with one on. "You okay now?" Chandler questioned uneasily. "I am now. I don't know how to repay you for what you've done today. It means the world to me." Monica explained. "It's nothing." Chandler replied staring into her beautiful eyes. "No really I think it's more than that. I could have been beaten up really bad if you hadn't have saved me." Monica whispered just centimeters away from his face. "I suppose." Chandler said feeling the urge to kiss her. "May I ask, why did you punch my sister?" Uh oh. He'd the asked the question Monica'd been dreading. She felt the heat come over her as she began to hesitate. "Erm.well.you see.I kinda." Monica stuttered feeling the sweat drip down her forehead. "It's okay, you can tell me anything." Chandler explained rubbing her shoulders trying to relax her. "It's kinda painful to say..." Monica whispered feeling Chandler put his arm round her. "I understand. But remember you can tell me anything you want." Chandler replied gazing into the twinkle in her eyes. "Okay, don't laugh but I don't actually have any friends. I'm in fact the most unpopular girl in the school for no reason at all, so I'm. I'm bullied." Monica told as her eyes filled up with tears. "Today when your sister tripped me up on purpose, I. I guess I just snapped. I couldn't take anymore of it." "Oh Mon, don't cry." Chandler whispered softly as she buried her face into his sweat shirt. How could anyone want to bully this beautiful, kind and loving girl? What had she done wrong? Before he knew it Chandler pulled Monica onto his lap and cuddled her. She as so cute when she cried.  
  
Monica felt shivers up her spine as a silence broke out. Should she kiss him? Should she? After all he was adorable, cute and funny.there were no words to describe him really.  
  
He wanted to kiss her so badly. He almost needed her like the air to breathe. But what if she didn't want it? It could ruin everything. But then again, there was no other way to find out. Yet something held him back.  
  
"I've gotta go, Chandler. Mom'll wonder where I am." Monica cried out braking the silence. "Oh ok. Well do you wanna hang around tomorrow after school?" Chandler asked wiping the last of her tears away. "That'd be great, Chandler." Monica replied grinning. "Well I'll see you at school." Chandler said watching her stride down the drive.  
  
She felt so cheery when she came home. Everything had turned so magical in just one simple day. Monica had got the perfect guy. She'd got Chandler. "Oh my god Monica, what happened to your face?" Judy shrieked as Monica came into the living room. "Nothing happened Mom, she's naturally this ugly!" Ross laughed rudely. "What happened Monica?" Judy asked strictly, ignoring Ross. "Look Mom, nothing happened." Monica replied fleeing the room. "Oh what so you come home from school covered in cuts and bruises everyday then!?" Judy snapped snatching her arm. "Now listen Monica you're gonna tell me everything!" "Why? It's not like you care so much." Monica yelled fighting her Mom's grip. "That's not true!" Judy cried increasing the grip around Monica's arm. "You don't give a shit about me! Not you, Ross or Dad. You'd have me outta hear by the time I'm 18 coz you can't stand me. So what do you care Mom, or maybe I should call you by your real name, coz you're no Mom to me!" Monica screamed finally escaping Judy as she pelted upstairs. "Don't you walk away from me!!" Judy shouted not in the mood to chase after her. "Stupid bitch." Ross muttered trying to keep a straight face. "I cannot stand her anymore. She gives me goddamn grief every single day." Judy announced depressively. "She always was a little slut." Ross spoke feeling ill every time he thought about Monica. "Don't act like you're so perfect all the time Ross! You're no better yourself. Now just get out of my sight, go to bed before I get really mad." Judy ordered collapsing onto the couch. "Now I'm going out. I need to get away for a while."  
  
Without a word of it, Ross stormed upstairs. He was in an absolute rage with everyone, especially Monica. He just wanted to hit her, kick her, he hated her. Monica was the reason he was held back. Monica ruined everything. Ross wanted Monica dead. He'd had enough. She needed to pay for everything.  
  
"You are so dead!" Ross screeched slamming open Monica's bedroom door. "Ross-" "You've ruined everyone's lives! It's all your fault, and I hate you! You're gonna pay!" Ross yelled picking up a vase and just missing Monica as he threw it. "I'm sorry Ross.I didn't mean to." Monica cried out with the tears flowing down her cheek. "You're not sorry! You never have been!!" Ross shouted smashing up all of her make-up on the dressing table. "Please leave me alone Ross!" Monica squealed shrinking down to the floor. "I hate you! I wish you'd just die!" Ross screamed knocking over the wardrobe which made all the wood shatter apart. "Stop it!" Monica called out hugging her legs which were up by her chin. There was nothing she could do. Ross was just out of control and very dangerous. He just wouldn't stop smashing up her bedroom; Monica couldn't stop him. All she could do was curl up in the corner and cry her eyes out. She wasn't loved. Not by her Mom, Dad, not anyone. Monica was alone in the world with more to come, that will destroy everything.  
  
So what did you all think? Please please please let me know by reviewing. I need reviews! That's what keeps me going to be honest. So I'll be back soon. See ya. 


	3. Too much, Too soon

"Did you hear the rumor going round that Monica Geller was beaten up last night?" "Yeah I think it's so cool." "That little cow so deserved it."  
  
That was all that could be heard throughout the school. Everyone knew and just loved the fact that Monica had been in immense pain. The whole topic was just hurting Chandler more than anything. As he'd walked through the school, he felt like hitting everyone who spoke about Monica the way they did. It was so unfair on her. What had she done that was this bad?  
  
"Hey Chandler! Heard the latest?" Meena asked running up to Chandler. "No. What's up?" Chandler lied as he felt the fury bottle up inside of him. "You know Monica Geller? Well some kids beat her up last night! Apparently her face was just covered in blood. I mean it was like ewww, you know? But this whole thing will certainly teach her a lesson." Meena replied trying to keep up with Chandler, who was at a fast pace. "What's wrong Chan? You seem a little tense." "Look Meena, I'm not tense. Just a little tired from last night, I couldn't sleep." Chandler explained sharply. "Now that's a lie Chan! You tell me the truth coz I wanna know." Meena snapped turning him to face her. "That is the truth I swear. I'm fine now just tell me who found out this whole situation?" Chandler requested avoiding the subject. "No one knows. There's a rumor that Marvin and Jade (your sis Chan) were involved. But they resfuse to say anything about it." Meena gasped reaching for Chandler's hand. Why hadn't his sister or her boyfriend said anything? That wasn't usually the way with them. Something serious must be up with them. "Well Jade and Marvin aren't what matters. I'm so glad that little slut bag was beaten up. I'd really knock her down and smash her teeth out, probably choke on them knowing that fucked up bitch." Meena snarled.  
  
~*~  
  
She was shivering. How long had she been outside? All night, perhaps. But Monica didn't care about the time. Her brother Ross had been out for her throughout the night. It had been so terrifying just knowing he was out there somewhere.  
  
(The night before)  
  
"Stop it!" Monica screamed feeling wood shatterings cut into her skin. "I hate you! You're gonna die when I'm finished with you!!" he yelled finally leaping forward at her. She screamed as Ross just missed her by centimeters. Monica had to get out now or that was it. Forcing herself up, Monica pelted for the door. But Ross wasn't giving up that easily. He jumped up and began chasing her down the stairs. "Leave me alone Ross!" Monica cried out just before she tripped up halfway down. But however hard she tried, Ross wouldn't stop; He was just way out of control. "You ain't getting away that easily." Ross exclaimed snatching Monica round the neck. "No Ross. don't." Monica choked out as she began to suffocate. Everything around started to become a blur. The world was fading right before her eyes. But Monica couldn't let him win. Without warning, Monica kicked Ross as hard as she could, which made him release her quickly. This was her one and only chance. Whilst Ross screeched in pain, Monica crawled away as fast as she could go. Still a little dizzy Monica started to run faster and faster. She didn't care where she went, she just had to escape. All that swept through her mind, were visions of Ross chasing after her. which he was. But Monica had gotten away from him, out of sight. After all it was pitch black outside, which still scared her. Ross could be anywhere just waiting to jump out. Within a few minutes, Monica grew to be utterly exhausted. She couldn't go any further even if she wasn't tired, it was too dark. Unable to see, Monica just collapsed onto the damp ground and just cried herself to sleep. She'd never been more horrified in her entire life.  
  
(Presence)  
  
Monica had no idea where she was. All around her was just tree after tree after tree. Or maybe a forest if that's how you would describe it. But it was nowhere Monica had been before. That's not what scared her though. "What about Ross? Is he okay? Wait, why am I thinking like that, he tried to kill me. My own brother wants me dead He hates me." Monica thought determined not to cry after what happened. "I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to cry." She couldn't just sit here and mope around all day. She needed to find out where she was. Picking herself up, Monica felt the painful ache throughout her body. especially round her neck. "Ouch!" Monica muttered before she finally walked off to wherever.  
  
~*~  
  
"Have you seen Ross this morning?" Joey asked as him and Rachel ate in the cafeteria "Nope." Rachel murmured cursing as she broke a nail. "Or Monica?" Joey questioned again feeling ill at the name. "Luckily no." Rachel replied with a smirk. "I'm so glad she was beaten up after school by Jade Bing and her boyfriend. That Chandler must be so proud." Joey presumed. "And so am I." Giggled a familiar voice. Meena with Chandler behind. "Hey Meena!" Rachel greeted. "So I guess you must feel so good to have a boyfriend whose sister beat up Monica. I know I would." "Definitely." Meena boasted kissing an awkward Chandler as passionately as possible. "No I'm not proud at all, you losers. In fact I feel absolutely humiliated for Monica. If only this hadn't happened." Chandler thought miserably as Meena dragged him off. "Look sweetie can we not make a big deal about all this?" Chandler whined. "Why not? I'm just expressing how lucky I feel to be with you." Meena explained wondering what had gotten into him. "It's just.I don't know how to explain. I just don't think it's fair with everyone saying how great the whole thing is." Chandler stuttered terrified of what she might say. "Not fair on who? Monica? Who?!" Meena snapped starting to get frustrated. "Yeah, Monica! I think you're being a little bitch the way you speak about her! She's a wonderful, kind person and all you can do is bully her!! So don't you ever talk about the person I like in that way!" Chandler yelled shocked at what he'd just said. "You what? Meena gasped as the whole cafeteria grew silent.  
  
Chandler glanced around at all the amazed expressions. Even the teachers walking through the hall stood looking like they'd seen a ghost. "You like Monica? You actually like like Monica?" Rachel asked going as white as a sheet. So many worries and thoughts came screaming in Chandler's head. What did he say? Did he mean what he'd said? It was all too much at once. "Chandler likes Monica Geller! What a loser!!" laughed some kid from the back. Within a few moments more and more people were laughing; even the teachers were sniggering a bit. But Chandler was furious and embarrassed at the same time. He felt himself start to scrunch up his fists, but trying not to lose it. "How could you do this to me?" Meena whispered tears filling up her eyes. "No Meena! I-" "I can't believe this!" Meena screeched storming off out of sight. He'd lost her forever. How could he do this to her? She was truly a great person. But Chandler hadn't meant to say what he'd said. It was a mistake, the slip of the tongue. Did he really mean it though? Did Chandler really have a crush on Monica Geller? Without a moments thought, Chandler just ran out the cafeteria, and out the school. He couldn't stand all the people laughing at him. But that's not what really bothered him. Most of the school knew about the whole scene, then more and more people would find out.. Then so would Monica. He had to tell her before anyone else would. Someone else telling her would be embarrassing. Chandler had to find her.  
  
~*~  
  
It had been hours since Monica had awoken in a strange forest. She'd already found her way out but was too terrified to go home. Ross could be there. "Oh god what am I gonna do? I can't go home, Ross might be there. I can't go anywhere." Monica thought to herself depressively. She'd been wandering around for hours with no money, no food no nothing. Suddenly Monica felt a cold hand grab her shoulder. "Get off me you sick fuck!" Monica screamed elbowing this person hard in the chest. "What you doin?!" A familiar voice yelped. "Chandler?" Monica whispered turning around. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" "Are you okay?" Chandler asked worriedly. "I thought you were. erm.aren't you supposed to be in school?" Monica questioned hastily trying to hold back the tears. "I was but.it's a long story. Look Mon, we have to talk." Chandler announced terrified of what he was gong to say. "About what?" Monica asked. "I thought that maybe we should talk about it at my place." Chandler explained panicky. "Shit, he wants a little talk. In other words he doesn't want to be friends anymore. This is just great. Just my fucking luck!" Monica thought feeling a little tear slid down her cheek.  
  
~*~  
  
So what did you think? Pleez review coz I miss getting them. Pleez review!!! Anyway. I'll write the next chapter soon. Bye. x x 


	4. Is she the one?

Hey everyone. Thank you so much for the reviews; they were so cool. Hope to get more on my new chapter. Enjoy!  
  
It was pitch black outside, and all could be heard were small whimpers from the Geller's house. The police had come and gone already; a search for Monica and Ross Geller had been held throughout the day and still they were nowhere. "Are you okay sweetie?" Jack Geller whispered to his wife, Judy, as he entered their bedroom. "Of course not, Jack. My children are missing!" Judy cried, as she broke down into tears once again. "I know. God I want them back." Jack replied feeling a few tears roll down his cheek. "But they'll be back soon, I believe they will." "Oh Jack, I can't cope. I need them back with us now. They could be anywhere, hurt, lost or even.dead." Judy depressively exclaimed as she and Jack cuddled up under the duvet. Within a few minutes, both were asleep.  
  
There was a knock on the door. Sleepily, Judy crept out of bed and answered it. "We're sorry to bother you Mrs. Geller, but we've received some news." The cop announced. "Come in." Judy replied leading him to the sofa. "As I was saying, something's come up." He explained getting out his papers from his briefcase. "Have you found them? Are they okay?" Judy asked hastily feeling the tears on her cheeks again. "Calm down Mrs. Geller. Is your husband here?" he questioned. "Yeah, I'm here." Jack's voice replied as he walked in and plopped down next to them. "I'm afraid we've got some terrible news Mr. and Mrs. Geller. It came in an hour ago. Your son Ross, .he was found dead in Central Park by the river. I'm sorry. And for Monica, we still don't know." He explained as everything sunk in. Ross was dead.  
  
"Judy wake up! Your having a nightmare." A distant voice said. "Ross is dead, Jack!" Judy yelled hysterically opening her eyes and seeing her husband. "No he's not, honey. You were dreaming, he's not dead." Jack explained as Judy buried her face into his chest. "It was so real, Jack. It was terrible." Judy whispered as Jack held her close.  
  
~*~  
  
"Is it okay if I use your bathroom?" Monica asked as they fell back onto the sofa. "Sure." Chandler replied flicking through the few channels on the TV. "Ok, just calm down Chandler. You can do this. You can tell her how you feel. No I can't do this, she'll probably laugh or something. I mean you've known her for what, 2 days? But I want Monica so much, I really do." Chandler thought as his eye caught on a report on the news.  
  
"Earlier today in New York, 2 teenagers went missing from their home. Monica and Ross Geller were last seen in their house yesterday, after their mother and father went out. Police are still searching and nothing has come up. If you have seen these people please call this number immediately."  
  
"What the-" Chandler gasped as he saw a shocked Monica standing in the doorway. "Monica is that. is that you?" She didn't answer. All Monica did was stand there in total shock. Her and Ross were missing. "Is it you?" Chandler asked approaching Monica. Staring at the floor, Monica whispered, " Yes, Chandler. It is me." "I-I-I just don't get this. How can you be missing? You're right with me?" Chandler gasped in total confusion. "Look I need to talk to you.it's really serious." Monica began leading Chandler to the sofa. "You can tell me anything, Mon." Chandler explained squeezing her hand. "Ok.last night me and my mom had an argument. I stormed up to my room and heard mom and Ross argue. Then I heard him come upstairs and he burst in my room. Ross got out of control. he started to destroy all my things. then he tried to attack me. I dodged him and ran for it. Ross chased me down the stairs. I was in such a hurry I tripped.he-he-he strangled me but I kicked him making him let go. Then all I remember was collapsing outside in the dark." Monica explained her eyes filling with tears. "Oh my god. Monica sweetie I'm so sorry." Chandler sympathized almost crying himself, as he pulled her into a hug. "I can't even imagine how you must feel. But don't you ever forget I'm always gonna be here, and I'll always help you when things are hard." "I'm so glad to have you." Monica whispered pulling away to stare into his eyes. The air around them almost seemed to grow tight and very tense. Time just stood still.  
  
Chandler just suddenly leaned in and their lips met. He ran his fingers through her soft hair; Monica refused to stop kissing him, everything was so perfect. It all seemed so right. But they broke the kiss, both desperate for air. "Monica I-" Chandler tried but stopped as Monica grabbed him and kissed him. This time everything was more passionate and more with it. She really wanted all this. Monica wasn't rejecting him like all the other girls. Maybe this time Chandler had got it right. Was Monica the one? 


	5. All over again

There was a pounding knock at the door. Wiping the tears from her eyes Judy sat up. "Jack, there's someone at the door." Judy announced nudging her sleeping husband. "Who's wanting us at this time of the night?" Jack sleepily whispered as him and Judy climbed out of bed. "It better be important." Judy muttered heading for the door. She hastily unlocked the old door and peeked her head out. "Oh my god! Ross!" Jack and Judy cried fetching their son into the warm. Ross was a state. His clothes were soaking from the miserable storm taking place outside, and his face patchy with mud. No expression lay upon his face, just a blank, meaningless one. "Oh Ross! Where have you been? I've been so worried!" Judy announced tears running down her cheeks. "You're freezing, I can't understand why you ran off out there." Jack remarked holding back his own tears. "Ross I'm so glad you're safe!" Judy explained fetching a blanket for her drenched son. "I hurt her." Ross whispered staring into space. "What sweetie?" Judy asked as everyone sat down on the leather couch. "I hurt her mom. I hurt her really bad." Ross whispered again. "What's he talking about? Jack?" Judy questioned worriedly. "I don't know. Look Ross, talk to us. Tell us who you hurt." Jack firmly stated griping his son's icy hands. "I don't know where she is. I scared her.I hurt her.she's out there somewhere." Ross mumbled. "Who did you hurt?" Judy requested feeling the frustration building up. "I hit her.I tried to attack her, my own sister." Ross went on. "Why? Ross, just tell us what happened." Judy cried.  
  
~*~  
  
He awoke to the claps of lightening outside. Sleepily opening his eyes, he glanced down at Monica, sleeping soundly in his arms on the sofa with him. She looked so cute as she slept, curled up in a tight ball. Gently kissing her forehead, Chandler stroked her silky, black hair. "Where would I be without you Mon?" Chandler whispered to himself wrapping his arms around her a little tighter. She was so elegant as she slept. Her breathing was so relaxing and rhythmical; the moonlight almost danced against Monica's pale skin. Chandler was the luckiest man alive to have her. Once again he kissed her, badly wanting her touch. Without warning, Monica's eyes fluttered open. "Hey." Monica said quietly. "Sorry I woke you." Chandler apologized stroking her cheek. "That's okay sweetie." Monica replied pulling him in for a kiss. "Look Mon, I think you should tell your parents where you are and that you're okay." Chandler suggested, "I mean they must be terrified just at the thought of what could have happened." "I can't Chandler. I just can't go back there." Monica explained sitting up. "You've got to. I know that you must be so scared at the fact that Ross could be with them, but you've got to go back. You must, and it's for the best." Chandler announced. Should she go back to her family? It was a massive risk, Ross could attack her again. But maybe he could get help maybe Ross could change. It was so hard to choose what to do, but to be honest Monica didn't have much of a choice. It wasn't like she had anywhere else to stay if she didn't go home. Taking a deep breath Monica finally spoke up with her decision. "I'll go back tomorrow." Monica whispered trying to hold back her tears. "Monica if Ross ever harms you, just come to me and I'll always protect you. Always." Chandler replied pulling her onto his lap, kissing all down her neck. "Thank you so much Chandler." Monica quietly spoke loving his touch, as they made love for the second time that night.  
  
~*~  
  
The Next Day  
  
She walked up the path towards the house feeling the terror in her already. Her whole body was trembling and she could feel the tears forming in her eyes. "Are you ok?" Chandler whispered taking hold of her shaking hand. Monica just barely nodded her head, as she glanced up at the house full of all her childhood memories. How had her and Ross' hatred for each other come to this? Monica never used to feel scared of being near her brother even though he'd beat her up. Everything had just got out of hand for both Mon and Ross. I mean Monica could barely stay standing for she was so terrified. "No, Chandler I can't do this." Monica suddenly cried just before they knocked on the door. "You've got to sweetie. I know you're so scared about all this but this is all for the best." Chandler explained softly kissing the top of her head. "But I can't, Ross could be there. I don't want to do it!" Monica snapped backing away from the door. " You-you can't make me." "I know I can't make you, Mon, I can't make you do anything. But look, will you do this for me?" Chandler asked pulling her back to him gently. "But-" "Please, just me?" Chandler quietly questioned watching the tears fall from her eyes.  
  
"Ok, I'll do it. But only because it's for you." Monica replied. With a sigh of relief Chandler leaned in and kissed her passionately, running his hands through her hair. After a moment, they both pulled away, and stepped over to the door once more. Taking a few deep breaths, Monica slowly raised her hand and knocked on the door. Chandler held her hand feeling how shaky she really was. He felt so sorry for her, I mean Chandler knew perfectly well how he couldn't cope living Monica's life. Monica glanced up at the opening door as her body heat over took her. Judy stood there, her skin so pale, her shocked expression was just unbelievable. "Oh my god! Monica where have you been?" Judy sobbed pulling her daughter into her arms. "Don't ever leave me again!" "Judy what's-" Jack stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes met a very depressed Monica. "Monica! Oh god what the hell happened to you?" he asked wiping away Monica's falling tears. "I'm so sorry. I just." Monica tried to say, before collapsing down to her knees in sobs. "Monica, sweetie, it's gonna be ok. I'm here now, you've got me." Judy whispered crouching down next to Monica. "Erm, I'll go, you'll probably need some time alone." Chandler announced stepping away from the door. "No, Chandler.don't go." Monica barely spoke between sobs, staring at her sweetheart longingly. "Are you a friend of Monica?" Jack questioned surprised. "Actually she's my girlfriend." Chandler replied uneasily. "Monica has a boyfriend? This is amazing!" Jack requested. "Jack!" Judy snapped trying to help Monica control her hysterical sobs. "Come in, sir." Jack said shutting the door after Chandler came in. "You can call me Chandler." Chandler remarked sitting down next to Monica. "Mon?" he whispered pulling her onto his lap. "Are you ok?" "Don't leave me Chandler." Monica whispered back still sobbing deeply, as she buried her wet face into Chandler's chest. "I won't I swear. I'll always look after you, honey." "Thank you so much Chandler for taking her home, we really appreciate it, dear." Judy thanked still crouched beside Monica. "Yes thank you so much." Jack thanked, putting his arm round his wife sitting next to her. "It's the least I can do." Chandler churped stroking Monica's soft hair. "Excuse me, I'm just gonna check on Ross." Judy explained getting up. "Ross? Is Ross here?" Monica panicked, her eyes full of alarm. "Monica, just calm down." Jack ordered. "Ross came home last night; he's in a state, he's pretty ill right now. But he told us about what happened, Monica." "Oh my god, you know." Monica whimpered crying a little more. "Yes we know, Monica." Judy solemnly spoke. "Maybe it would be best if you spoke to Ross. You need to work things out with him." Chandler suggested staring into Monica's bloodshot eyes. "No Chandler, no! I came home that's what you wanted! I'm not doing anymore things, no one can make me." Monica cried as the fear ran through her body all over again. "Monica you have to-" "No I don't. I-I don't want to!" "Monica please just grow up! You're not going to get anywhere not talking to your brother. Even if you are scared Ross won't harm you, he's too tired and ill. Now just please make the right decision by listening to Chandler." Judy snapped. "Please?" Chandler calmly asked wiping away Monica's tears with the back of his hand. "Ok, I will." Monica replied with a sigh.  
  
"He's in his room." Judy clarified watching as Chandler helped Monica up. "You can go too if you wish Chandler."  
  
"Do you want me to come, Mon?" Chandler questioned holding both her hands, and their fingers entwined. "I want you to come Chandler. I can't face him alone." Monica explained shyly. "Ok." Chandler replied smiling at her as they climbed the stairs. Monica began to feel the terror of it all creeping over her skin. She was about to face Ross, the guy who tried to kill her. But Ross wouldn't dare try to harm her again, Chandler would protect her, and Mom and Dad were downstairs. What if Ross was too quick for Chandler and hurt him? What if he tried to kill Chandler as well? Monica knew that if anything happened to Chandler, it would break her heart into a million pieces. But nothing would happen it couldn't; Ross was too weak and too ill to hurt Chandler. Just the thought of it all still was enough to terrorize Monica. "Sweetie which room is he in?" Chandler requested squeezing her hand. "This one." Monica announced standing in front of a door with a BEWARE poster on it. "Ok, erm, are you ready?" Chandler inquired. "No." Monica mumbled through her tears. "Oh honey, don't cry." Chandler softly whispered pulling her into a hug. "I'm just so scared Chandler. I'm terrified of what he might try to do to me. And I'm terrified of what he might do to you. I just couldn't cope if anything happened to you." Monica whimpered. "Monica, don't worry about what'll happen to me. I don't want you to, I mean I hate to see you like this. It's killing me. I will always protect you even if something does happen. I'll never ever leave your side." Chandler declared now gazing into to her eyes. "I swear." He added on as their lips met for a short moment. "Thank you for everything." Monica whispered smiling through her fading tears. "So are you ready?" Chandler asked again. "Yeah." Monica announced wiping away the tears as she turned the door knob. Monica gripped onto Chandler's hand really tightly as they poked their heads round the door. "Ross?" Monica called out to the empty room. "Oh my god, he's not here." "He must be. I mean where else would he be?" Chandler asked. "Ross? Ross?" Monica worried called out, stepping into the room. "Where are- " Suddenly, Monica felt a throbbing pain smack into her, and knock her down to the hard floor. Everything around her grew dark and she could hear Chandler start shouting. There was a punching sound followed by a crash outside the room, then the door slammed and the clicks of the locks being turned. "What's going on up here?!" Jack screeched as he and Judy stormed up the stairs. "Help. me." Chandler murmured from under a fallen bookcase he'd been thrown against. He could barely move and the books and broken wood were digging into him. Everything had happened so fast, Chandler couldn't really work out what had happened. But he wasn't worried too much about himself. Monica was alone with no one to help her, in any kind of situation. Chandler only had a vague idea of what could be happening, but what he thought he did not like. "Oh my god Chandler, what's happened?" Judy squealed, as she pulled the remains of the bookcase off Chandler's limp body. "He's got Monica.she's hurt. please save her." Chandler mumbled laying still feeling the tears leak out of his eyes. "It'll be okay Chandler I promise." Jack whispered. "Monica's hurt?! Oh my god Jack do something, please help her-" Judy blurted out getting into hysterics. "Judy calm down, Monica's gonna be fine." Jack announced wishing he knew that for sure. "But she's in there with no one to protect her, Monica could be dying for all we know!" Judy cried getting out of hand. "No she won't, she won't sweetheart. Please stay calm and look after Chandler while I try to get Ross to calm down." Jack explained gesturing her to sit down next to Chandler. "Ross? Ross?" Jack called out gently knocking on the door. "You come in here and I swear to god I'll kill her!!" Ross screamed. "Look Ross, it doesn't have to be this way. You can just calm down and let Monica go then everything will be fine. We won't tell anyone about this, we could be a happy family again." Jack defined. "How am I supposed to believe that?! I know what you'll do, you'll tell me I'm gonna just get some stupid therapy for a while, then I'll end up in some home for the mental! That's what'll happen!!!" Ross yelled again throwing what sounded like glass across the room.  
  
"No I swear Ross we'd never ever do that to you. We love you so much and we hate to see upset or angry. I know it would kill you to send you away from us. It'd break my heart to be without you too." Jack replied softly. "Please listen to him Ross-" Before Monica could finish a hitting sound came from the room followed by a little gasp of pain. "Don't hurt her." Chandler tried to shout feeling sick at the thought of Monica in pain. "Oh my god, he's gonna kill her." Judy cried sobbing ever so hard. "He won't.Monica's a fighter. believe in her, Judy." Chandler murmured feeling a little achy as he sat up. "You're so right Chandler. Oh Monica's so lucky to have you." Judy whispered hugging him as her tears began to slow a little. "I know." Chandler replied with a little chuckle.  
  
Monica was slumped down in the corner of Ross' destroyed bedroom. The pain had become unbearable now, and the terror scared her silly. Her nose was bleeding and bruises were forming on her arms and legs, especially on her ribs. Monica had never felt so much pain in her whole life. Not only did she have physical pain but emotional as well. Ross was in a bad place too, he had gone mental for some strange reason and was trying to kill his own sister. I mean no one would do that, no one like Ross. There must have been so many problems going on with his point of view. Then there was Mom and Dad. They'd been so scared when their children disappeared and saw it all over the news. Monica knew she wouldn't ever be able to cope if it were her own children. She had been so scared going back to them after running away like that; the thought of them never being able to forgive her ran through Monica's mind before she came home. And of course there was Monica's sweetheart, Chandler. He'd been there all the way for her from day one. Chandler could've backed out ages ago, but he stayed with Monica and helped her make it through. But what Monica really appreciated, was that Chandler always saw past what everyone else saw Monica as, he doesn't care how unpopular he becomes as long as he has Monica. That's the guy Monica always had dreamed of being with, and her dream which had seemed forever away, had come true.  
  
"I'm really sorry for whatever I did, Ross-"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"No please listen to me-" "I don't wanna hear it!!" "Oh god Ross, why can't you just forgive me?"  
  
She finally broke down into the hardest sobs she'd ever cried. She just couldn't take it anymore; the sadness, the loneliness and the depression had won. Her emotions had beaten her. Monica was at the bottom of the deepest, darkest pit and all the bright lights had disappeared above her. It seemed as if no one could help her. Not even Chandler.  
  
He glared at her miserably as she cried. She'd ruined everything. Everything. That's what brought his hatred for Monica to be so great. But a little part of him just didn't know why he hated her. It had never really been known. He hated that. But lately Ross had been thinking. He couldn't stand the fact that a part of him didn't know why he hated Monica. It had been driving him crazy even making him feel sick. So when Monica caused anger for him, Ross broke. He just snapped. Ross thought trying to kill her would get the whole thing out of his system. He was so wrong. It had made things even worse for him. So much depression and misery had flown in and his life was in darkness. Ross couldn't get any lower than where he was. But deep inside his heart, Ross could hear a little voice calling out to him, 'The only way out is up.' Where is up though?" Ross wondered tearing his glare away from Monica. Then it hit him. The answer was so obvious; it had been right in front of him all this time. "Mon?" he whispered, as he approached Monica. "No Ross, don't touch me! Please don't hurt me, I-I" "No I'm not going to hurt you. God I'm so sorry, I can't believe what I've done to you, Monica." Ross announced beginning to cry. "Really?" Monica asked quietly still in thick tears. "Yeah. I promise I'll never harm you Mon." Ross explained pulling her into his arms. With a sigh of relief, Monica and Ross both felt the love for one another. Never before had they got that brother and sister relationship and it all began to flow in. They'd been lifted out of the darkness a little. Even though there was a long journey ahead, it still felt like the sun was shining on them.  
  
"Well you have a few broken ribs there and a broken arm, but in about 2 months everything will have healed up." The doctor explained writing a few notes on his clipboard. "Just don't do anything too active. So everything should be okay." "See Monica? Everything's gonna be okay." Chandler remarked stroking her cheek. "I'll give you some time alone." The doctor announced heading out the door.  
  
"Chandler you didn't have to stay." "No I want to stay, sweetie. I don't want to be without you." Chandler whispered sweetly. Feeling touched Monica took hold of Chandler's warm hand. He was he most important person in her life already, and he'd only known each other for like a week. Chandler was perfect in her eyes. But there was something still bothering Monica. Something which could ruin the relationship drastically. Something which she had never come to grips with.  
  
Monica had fallen in love with Chandler.  
  
Already. She couldn't tell him, it would ruin everything if he didn't feel the same way. Well he probably wouldn't this early in a relationship. But Monica had never been in love before, she had no idea how to keep going with that feeling. It was too hard. She couldn't stop thinking about it all of a sudden. But Monica could control her thoughts. She could do that. "Mon?" "Hmm?" "Are you okay?" Chandler asked. "Yeah." Monica replied. "You kinda drifted off." Chandler explained. "I did? God, I'm sorry. I erm. I-I must be tired." Monica lied awkwardly. "No don't be sorry, sweetie. You need to rest after what happened yesterday." Chandler said smiling, kissing the top of her head.  
  
"Erm. can you get in with me?" Monica asked quietly. "If that's okay with you, honey." Chandler replied as Monica made space for him. "Thanks." Monica whispered kissing his lips for a quick moment, as they cuddled up together. "Sweet dreams, Mon." Chandler whispered kissing her cheek. 


	6. Darkness

But it was too late. Monica had had made up her mind, she was gonna look Chandler. No matter what.  
  
Jack watched as his daughter wandered off out into the street. She stood no chance. Chandler would just tell her that he wasn't where she was and then, Monica would almost die of the sadness. It broke his heart to just think of it. But, it was too late; he'd let her go off in search of Chandler. There was no way he could stop this now. It was up to Monica on weather she'll back out or not. And, there was almost no chance that she would. Everything was hopeless. "What's wrong Jack?" Judy's voice called from behind. "Monica's gone to find Chandler to tell him.erm.that she-she loves him." Jack stuttered wishing he'd never said it. "That's crazy! She can't be I love, I mean she's been in a 1 week relationship and already?!" Judy cried as Jack closed the door. "I know. That's what I told her. She wouldn't listen to me, I couldn't stop her!" Jack explained. "Oh god, this is gonna break her heart isn't it. Chandler's gonna say he doesn't love her and we'll have a big situation on our hands." Judy groaned hiding her face in her hands. "Yep. But it's not our problem if he says that is it? I mean we did tell her that we didn't think he'd say he loved her. Monica'll just have to face that and accept it." Jack suggested putting his arm round Judy. "But it's that whole thought of it all! For a change in my life, I don't want to see Monica's heat break."  
  
She'd been walking for ages. The sky had gone a dim grey and the clouds weren't too promising. There was no sign of Chandler and no sign of where Monica was going either. "God it's so cold, I wish I'd put a thicker god damn coat on." Monica thought miserably. It didn't help with broken ribs as she plodded on. The pain was growing and was slowering her by the minute. Maybe Monica shouldn't have come out looking for Chandler. "No I can't go back, not now. I must find Chandler." Monica thought rubbing her sore ribs. But as time flew by, the soreness started to become unbearable. Monica had to keep on stopping for a rest just to soothe the pain. Luckily her broken arm made no difference whatsoever. But she didn't care about that at this moment. Once again Monica felt the strain in her ribs, yet this time it was even worse than before. Her knees just gave way and she fell to the hard concrete. "I can't do this." Monica mumbled as she burst into tears. "Oh for god's sake Monica! Stop being such a little baby. You get up now and get looking for Chandler!!" her mind screeched at her. "I can't, there's to much pain. My ribs are just too much. Please turn back Monica." Her body was calling out. "Oh great, now I'm talking to myself." Monica thought sadly as she went through the painful process of picking herself up. "I can do this.. I can do this.." Monica spoke under her breath as she began walking again. She was getting no where. Jack was right, she should've stayed at home. But how was Monica gonna get back in her condition? "Monica!" a voice cried from behind. Turning around her eyes saw Jack. He'd obviously been so worried he'd come after her. "Dad, what are you doing here?" Monica asked trying to hide her pain. "I've come to take you home, sweetheart. I just can't bear to see you unhappy if Chandler isn't where you are. I couldn't do it. Please come home with me Mon." Jack begged taking a hold of Monica's cold hands. "No, I haven't found Chandler. I need to." Monica whined. "I won't let you, honey. I won't I don' think you should. Just come home Mon, look at you. I can tell you're trying to hide your pain but I can see right through that. Just come home and stay there." Jack suggested gesturing her to get in the car. With a sigh Monica let him take her home. Jack was right, she did need to come home. Monica was in loads of pain and desperately needed to rest. But of course there was still unfinished business. Monica still had to find the love of her life and try to win him back. It wasn't that easy though.  
  
It had been 3 months. The rain was falling harder than ever outside, in the darkness. It must've been chilling out there, especially with the lightening crashing down to the ground, causing a very strong, icy gust. But it didn't matter how terrible the weather was outside. Nothing could compare with Monica's misery. She'd been trying to sleep for hours but had failed at that, due to the one word which ran through her mind. Chandler. It felt like it had been tattooed on all her thoughts and she just couldn't get rid of it. His name was everywhere to her. Even closing her eyes, Monica could still see Chandler, she could hear him breathing, like he was right next to her. But, he wasn't. Chandler had left her. Why? Monica had no idea whatsoever. The only proof of it all, was his little note. Yet Monica still didn't believe that Chandler had gone. She kept telling herself he was still with her. And sometimes Monica would even think she could see Chandler standing in front of her and they'd talk. Maybe even kiss at times. Monica's parents really would worry terribly. They knew she'd turned crazy, seriously mental about it. And, Monica would rarely leave her bedroom, so she practically had been to school twice in like 3 months. She was also ill all the time since she barely ate. And she slept no more than about 2 hours a night. Everything was a mess. And sadly, there seemed to be nothing anyone could do. Yet, Monica just didn't care anymore. She didn't care at all for anyone. She'd even tried to kill herself many a time, and didn't even think about her suffering parents. They'd had a hard enough time with Ross still ill at the hospital. Nothing had ever gone so terrible in the Geller family. Nothing.  
  
"Why did you leave me Chandler? Why?!" Monica whispered to herself, letting her tears fall freely. "Look what you've made me do." She stared down at the scars on her wrist. They brought back many memories from just a month ago. She also thought back to the other day when she tried to leap out her bedroom window to her death. Unluckily for Monica, her Mom walked in at that moment and stopped it all from happening. And then she'd also tried to drink a glass of ink she'd made. It didn't kill her, just made her seriously sick. But Monica couldn't go out to find Chandler like you would have thought she would've done. Judy and Jack couldn't trust her since she tried to kill herself many times. It was a minus chance she ever got back together with her sweetheart, Chandler.  
  
Monica climbed out of her bed and headed for the window. She knew what she was gonna do. As she opened the window she thought to herself, "Is this the only way out? Is the only way out committing suicide?" After a moments thought Monica realised she didn't care. She had to get out the quickest way. I mean no one loved her. Mon had never ever had a friend, her brother wasn't too keen on her like her parents, and the one guy who ever cared about her, was gone. "Just get on with it before you change your fucking mind!" Monica thought climbing up onto the window sill. The rain hit her and mixed with her tears. She slowly stared down at where here body would lie if she jumped. "Just to think, it would be over in just a few seconds. I'd remember nothing and feel no pain, and it'd be so quick. No one would care. Sure there'd be a little emotion because of the shock. I'd be forgotten within a week. No one would remember me. Just take a deep breath close your eyes and jump." Monica thought shivering in the cold. She couldn't do it. Her body just wouldn't budge. Why wouldn't she just jump?! It was as if her feet had stuck to the ground. Monica became irritated and started to cry again. All she wanted was to have everything leave her alone; she was desperate to come up to the surface and breathe fresh air again. It wasn't gonna happen. After one last longingly stare at where her body would lie, Monica slid back in through the window. Gazing into the mirror Monica saw how cold and soaked she was. Her hair was dripping and was matted slightly, and her face was as white as snow; She cringed as she saw how her PJs had stuck to her body in the rain, revealing everything. If only Chandler was here he'd be laughing away at that ( as well as complimenting Monica on her body.) But he was gone. Perhaps forever.  
  
"Mon?" Jack called out as he peeked his head round Monica's door. "Monica?" There she was, staring into space laying on her bed. Her eyes were bloodshot and she'd still done nothing about her hair or PJs. Like always, Monica had tears leaking out of her eyes. "Oh my god Mon, why are you soaking?" Jack cried rushing to her side. "No wait, you-you didn't go outside on the windowsill again did you?!" "I want to die.I really do.But I can't." Monica murmured not making any eye contact. "Why? Why do you want to die Mon?" Jack asked squeezing her frozen, trembling hand. "Did I do something wrong? Please talk to me, honey." "Chandler's gone.I-I need him.I need to tell him I love him." Monica whispered still staring up at the ceiling. "No! Monica you've got to forget Chandler. He's not coming back so face it. You have to. Just look at yourself; you never talk to anyone, you're always crying, you don't eat, and-and.you've even tried to kill yourself. I hate this Mon. I hate it coz I don't want to see you suffer or try to hurt yourself." Jack explained starting to cry. "I can't stand it." Monica remained silent as always. She continued to do nothing but stare. She just didn't wanna know; it was as if Monica wanted to stay alone in the world, with no one to care for her. Jack soon began to realise this. Unless Monica would let him help her they were gonna get no where. Which seemed the only way at the moment. "Monica sweetie, there's someone here to see you." Judy exclaimed poking her head round Monica's bedroom door. "Hiya Mon." a familiar voice spoke out, as they entered the room. "Rachel?" Monica cried pulling herself out of her trance. Rachel was there, looking a little guilty and uncomfortable. She was wearing a little navy-blue dress and had a long, fur Gucci coat on, then she was wearing cute little sandals which were not appropriate for the weather outside. In her arms she was clutching a velvet box. "I'll just go." Jack whispered exiting. "I came to see if you were ok." Rachel explained sitting on the end of Monica's bed. "How did you know something was wrong?" Monica asked sitting up. "Ross called me from the hospital. I just couldn't believe it when I found out." Rachel replied awkwardly. "So I thought I should come to see if you were okay." "But I thought you didn't like me?" Monica said confused. "Well another reason why I'm here is because I wanted to tell you something. I'm really sorry after what I did to you, Mon. I really was so terrible to you all those years, and I've only just realised how much damage has been caused. So as a can-you-forgive me gift I got you a little present." Rachel announced handing Monica the box. "I hope with all my heart you can forgive me." "Of course I can forgive you. I've been so desperate for the day when someone would decide to turn around, and actually want to be my friend. I've wanted it so much and I don't know how to thank you, Rach." Monica explained smiling for the first time in ages. "Oh Monica, you're so sweet. I really didn't think you would forgive me but you have and, I'm so happy." Rachel said hugging Monica. "So are you gonna open your present?" "Yep!" Monica replied opening the soft, velvet lid. It was a beautiful gold necklace with a locket in a heart shape. As you opened the locket it revealed two little pictures. There was a picture of Monica and a picture of Chandler. It made Monica's heart melt just to see his adorable, little face again. "Chandler." Monica whispered to herself. She felt the smile creep off her face just thinking about Chandler. "What's wrong, Monica?" Rachel asked glancing at her newly polished nails. "Nothing. I-I love it, Rach, thank you so much. You really didn't have to." Monica lied trying to place a fake smile on her. "Are you sure sweetie? Did you break up with Chandler? Did you? If you don't like it I can always switch it-" "No, no don't. Thank you, Rachel I love it." Monica sweetly admired, feeling a little dizzy. "Well as long as you're fine then I am. But Mon I've really gotta go, I have a hair appointment to attend." Rachel explained standing up. "Rach can I ask you something?" Monica questioned. "Sure what's up?" "Have you seen Chandler like, recently? We haven't broken up or anything I just, you know, wondered." Monica requested awkwardly. "Actually to come to think of it I haven't seen Chandler in ages. Maybe we just both in the wrong places at the wrong time, I don't know. Well I'll see you later, Monica. If you need me just phone me." Rachel announced leaving.  
  
Monica was shocked. Absolutely shocked. Rachel Greene, one of the meanest brats in the world had actually apologised to her. It was so creepy and almost made her a little concerned. But something must be up. It just seemed so weird that Rachel would just come crawling back for forgiveness. Nothing made sense. But then again it was so sweet of her to get Monica the necklace; Even if it did have a picture of Chandler inside. Just thinking of her sweetheart made her want to cry for him. But whatever she did it probably wouldn't make difference.  
  
She sat twiddling her little gold necklace as she stared out the open window. The world outside was as cold and grey as ever. Everywhere was covered in some form of ice or snow, including the cars driving down the road. It was freezing. "Oh Chandler, why did you leave me?" Monica wondered drying her eyes with a tissue. Another month had gone by since Rachel had visited. Ross had come home as pleasant as ever. But the only problem was, that he now had an obsession for dinosaurs and science crap. Apparently the whole process of whatever they did to him at the hospital, had changed his likings altogether. And of course, according to Rachel's last phone call, she and Joey no longer hang around with Ross. But Monica didn't really care about that. Chandler still hadn't got In contact with her. Well it didn't help that Monica hadn't returned to school. Her only memory of him was the little picture in her locket of him. Chandler looked so cute in it. Monica almost wanted to reach out and hold him in her arms, feel his touch, his soft lips. then Monica felt it slip out of her hands. But it was too late, her fingers just wouldn't catch hold of it. She'd dropped her necklace out the window whilst fiddling with it. "Shit." Monica muttered panicking, as she franticly stared down at the ground. She then saw a bright sparkle coming from the path next to the road. It was her necklace! Monica had to get it before someone picked it up. She rushed downstairs and out the door. She had to find her necklace. It was the most precious item she owned. But it was a little hard to find it now since she was outside and not up by the window. "Oh god, where is it?" Monica shrieked panicking as she headed over to the side of the road. There it was, on about 2 feet into the road. It was and incredibly dangerous since there were speeding cars zooming by. But it was a risk Monica was willing to take. Slowly but surely, she edged towards her goal. Gazing up every few seconds she saw that there were as many cars at top speed as if on a motorway. It was pretty scary even though it seemed simple. "Okay, just a bit closer Monica, just a little further, you can reach it." Monica thought stretching her arm as far as it would go. Monica was no more than about 2 centimetres away from the necklace. She could do it. just a little closer.nearly got it. just touching it, and then she fell. Everything around Monica suddenly went into slow motion. But all she could do was watch her life disappear. But then a pair of hands grabbed her. They flung her back onto the sidewalk. Someone had saved her. It was a miracle. Just in the nick of time Monica had been pulled back from her death. But who had done it? Opening her eyes, Monica stared up. "Oh my god, Monica, it's-it's you." He gasped jumping back in shock. "Chandler!" Monica cried. It was Chandler. He had been there and had saved her. Picking herself up, Monica stared at him. He looked shocked as well, and kept at a distance from Monica. "Erm I-I didn't recognise you Mon, I thought you were someone else-" He stuttered panicking like never before. "I can't believe it's you, Chandler. I thought you were gone forever." Monica announced beginning to cry. "You left me." "I know I did. I did it for a good reason, Monica, so just, you know, stay away." Chandler snapped backing away. "Why did you leave me, Chandler? Why? I didn't do anything wrong, I tried so hard to make us happy together. Please come back to me." Monica begged through her tears. "No I can't. You just don't understand Monica do you?! I've made up my mind and I don't want to be with you, okay?!" Chandler explained starting to raise his voice a little. "Please tell me why you left, Chandler. I can't go on not knowing what I did wrong, I just can't. Just please tell me." Monica sobbed. Chandler stared at her. She really wanted to know why he left her, it must be torture for Monica. But did he have the courage to? Did he? "Fine I'll tell you, Mon." Chandler decided. He led her over to an empty alleyway with a little bench. They both sat down but kept on either side of the bench from each other. Chandler began to take a few deep breaths. It was a little hard to explain everything but he had to. Monica was in tears and probably had been in shock as well as himself. "Okay Monica, here's what happened." Chandler began taking a hold of her hand. "We were at the hospital and we were in your hospital room. You were tired and injured after the day before's results. I was willing to make you happy in whatever way, because I couldn't stand the thought of you being upset or lonely; so I decided to stay with you. We spoke for a little while and stuff. Then you asked me to stay in your bed with you, do you remember? I said yes and I got in with you. After a little while you fell asleep. I loved watching you sleep, you were so peaceful and so innocent. But then something happened. I couldn't believe it at first and it just wasn't right. You started speaking in your sleep. I couldn't work it out at first but then you spoke a bit clearer. You said, 'I love you Chandler.' That's when I left you. But I knew I couldn't just leave you forever so I got Rachel to come check on you. She told me everything. But I thought you'd get suspicious so I made Rach give you that necklace, to make you think she didn't know about everything. But that's nothing compared to the night in the hospital. I haven't stopped thinking about what you said." Then it hit her. It all came screaming back to her. She remembered thinking so hard about her love for Chandler that it must've triggered a dream. And Chandler had heard it and had left her coz he wasn't ready. Chandler was a commitment-phobic guy and had got the hell out of there when he heard it. It all began to make sense. Everything. The letter, his disappearance, Rachel coming back for forgiveness, the necklace, everything! "I can't believe this." Monica whispered sniffing. "I just can't believe this." "I'm sorry!" Chandler cried, as he got up and ran off. "Come back!" Monica yelled chasing after him. She couldn't let him go, not this time. Monica was gonna get Chandler. He was hers. "Chandler! Please wait!" Monica shrieked as he sped across the road. "Come back!" He'd escaped her for the moment. It'd take a while to cross that road again with all the cars. Then suddenly Chandler heard something. He heard a few cars screech as they tried to brake, a scream, then a crash of a car. Chandler sharply turned his neck to see what had happened. It was like a scene from his nightmares. "No!!" Chandler screamed rushing over. All the cars had stopped and people were getting out of them. But Chandler didn't care about that. Right in front of a car lay a mangled body all covered in blood. Chandler knew who it was. It was Monica. "Oh my god, Monica!" Chandler cried out as he ran to her side. Her hair was everywhere and so was blood. Monica's body was just covered in it and Chandler couldn't do much at all. "Please be okay Monica, you have to." Chandler whispered starting to cry, as he covered her in his jacket to keep her warm. "I'm so sorry! I couldn't stop! She just ran out in front of me." The driver explained to everyone. "I've just called the ambulance!" A lady announced rushing over. "Look I'm telling you I did nothing wrong! She just ran out and there was nothing I could do." The Driver moaned. No one seemed to be interested in the fact that Monica's life was slipping away. All they cared about was the driver's story. But Chandler depended on keeping Monica alive until the ambulance arrived. He had to. After all, if it hadn't have been for Chandler, Monica would be ok. "Come on sweetie, stay with us." Chandler called out brushing her hair out of her face. "Please don't go." Chandler tried so hard not cry but it wasn't working. He did this to her. She wasn't breathing. But had he killed her? There was only one way to find out. Chandler gently ran his shaking fingers along her blood-soaked neck and searched for a pulse. He couldn't find one. But she had to be alive, she just had to. "Come on, there must be a pulse!" Chandler screeched checking on her wrist as well. Then he felt the little beats. She still had a pulse, she was alive! Monica still had a chance to survive. But would her pulse stay? It was fading ever so slowly. He had to keep her going so this called for the 'kiss of life'. As he did so, Chandler could hear sirens in the background. The ambulance had arrived. A couple of doctors jumped out and carried a stretcher and some equipment over to them. "What's happened?" a doctor asked as he began checking for a pulse himself. "She ran out in front of a car, I couldn't stop her. It's all my fault." Chandler explained crying his eyes out. "What's her name?" he asked again placing a breathing mask on Monica. "Monica Geller. She's my girlfriend." "Ok, and your name is?" "Chandler Bing." "Now Chandler, Monica is on life support and we're gonna get her back as soon as we can." The doctor announced as they placed her on a stretcher. "Look there's no time for chit-chat just get the girl in the ambulance!" another doctor yelled as they began to lift the stretcher. "Can I come in the ambulance?" Chandler asked pleadingly. "Oh go on then." A doctor replied loading Monica onto the ambulance.  
  
Chandler sat down next to Monica's frail body and took a hold of her cold, blood-soaked hand. He watched as a doctor began pumping blood. Monica was loosing as much as they were pumping in her honestly. It was a terrifying sight as Monica's life was hanging on by a thread. "It's gonna be okay Mon, I know it will." Chandler whispered to her. "I won't be able to face another day without you Monica. Just the thought of knowing I put you this way and it's my fault. Life just wouldn't matter to me, I wouldn't be able to cope. You're not gonna leave me Mon, I'm not ever gonna let you. Do you hear that?! I'm gonna make sure you stay alive and- and I will try to do whatever makes you happy." Suddenly he felt her squeeze his hand. Did Monica hear him? Was she ok? "Oh my god! Doctor she squeezed my hand! She just did!" Chandler cried. "She can't have done. She's in too bad a bad condition to have done that." The doctor explained. "But she did! I'm telling you Monica must've heard me." Chandler argued. "Well maybe it was just a trigger of the nerves. Often when people go into unconsciousness the nerves will just shake for no reason and they're hand or leg or whatever will twitch. That's probably what happened." The doctor replied. The doctor was probably right. But Chandler hated to believe it; he really thought Monica could hear him. But what if she had? 


	7. You have to believe

It was just 15 minutes after the accident, when things began to look fatal. Monica was still loosing blood and her pulse rate was fading. It didn't help that the hospital was jam-packed so there were hardly any rooms left, and the corridors had so many people in them you couldn't get many more down there. It was a nightmare. Especially for Chandler. His eyes were bloodshot and full of tears and he'd never been more stressed. Chandler had been trying to keep up with the doctors as they wheeled Monica off looking for a spare room But it was taking so long just to find a place, that the doctors were beginning to doubt Monica's survival. "No spare beds in this ward, Dr Wittemans." A nurse told as she noticed them waltz by. "Oh god everywhere's packed. Look do you know where any spare beds are?!" Dr Wittemans groaned anxiously. "No sorry." The nurse replied, being not really interested. "Where's she gonna go if there are no rooms?" Chandler questioned. "Well we're just gonna have to wait until there is aren't we?" Dr Wittemans snapped obviously just as frustrated. "But she'll be dead by then! Monica'll lose too much fucking blood by that time!!" Chandler yelled slamming his fist against a wall. "Look we're trying as hard as we can okay?! If there's no ward with space then we'll have to do whatever we can to keep her alive whilst we wait. Dr. Williams has already supplied all the blood we can get." Dr. Wittemans explained. "No but that's not all we've got on our hands. There are other injuries which could kill her. I just wish this god damn hospital was fit to serve everyone." Chandler complained. "We're not going to give up on her, sir. Our team will do whatever it takes to keep her alive. Just believe we can do that and it'll be so much better." Dr Williams suggested studying Monica's heartbeat on the monitor. "Dr Wittemans, the rates gone down by 11 beats." "Hey! We have a free room!" some nurse announced opening the door to it. "Oh thank god." Chandler muttered with a sigh of relief. He watched from the corner as Monica was laid on the little hospital bed. Her little figure looked hopeless for surviving; every part of her was covered in blood and more was pouring out of her. Monica was so innocent, she didn't deserve this. She was the most wonderful person Chandler had ever met and her life was fading away before his eyes. "Oh god, Monica please don't let go, just don't leave me. I can't even imagine a day without your cute smile, your pretty face, and your kind heart. Just stay with me Mon, don't give up." Chandler thought. There was so much yelling from all the doctors and nurses on what was happening. "Someone get me the Blood circuit and another breathing mask!" Dr. Wittemans called out. "You got it." One of the 3 nurses replied as they hurried off. "What's the heart beat rate?" Dr. Williams asked. "Err. shit it's gone down by 25! Get a life-support machine in!" Dr Wittemans announced. "There's one on it's way." Someone replied. "We've got a broken leg, 2 fractured arms, bruised rib cage and an increasing blood-loss! Is that goddamn blood circuit in here yet?!" Dr. Williams yelled. "Come on people! She's gonna die!" "What?" Chandler gasped hugely taken back. "Look sir, maybe I should take you outside. It's getting too crowded in here." A nurse suggested gesturing he followed her. "You're losing her aren't you?!" Chandler repeated. "Come on, we need you to leave this room." She ignored him, as they finally were both outside. "Would you answer my question?" Chandler snapped, as he fell back onto the creaky grey couch. "We don't know anything yet, I'm afraid." She replied. "Would you like me to get you a cup of coffee?" "Yeah sure." Chandler said covering his face with his hands. "I'll be right back." She explained jogging off to the cafeteria. He just burst into tears. Chandler knew perfectly well what was happening. Monica was dying and the nurse just didn't want to admit it. It was too obvious. But Chandler just was in total shock . He couldn't believe it, everything had just happened so quickly. And what made it worse, if Monica was to die, Chandler wouldn't be able to ever tell her how sorry he was. She'd die thinking that Chandler hated her; which he didn't. She meant the world to him. Monica couldn't die. Chandler wasn't gonna let death get in the way. Suddenly Chandler heard crying. Gazing up his eyes met a tall, blond haired girl crying her eyes out. She was dressed as if she'd stepped right out of the 60s. As she came closer she plopped down on the couch opposite. "Hi." Chandler spoke quietly. "Are you okay?" "Does it look like I'm okay?!" she snapped trying to control her tears. "Sorry." Chandler replied a little hurt. "Oh no, I'm sorry, I shouldn't be so mean. Look I'm just in the middle of a family crisis here and you know, I'm where I am. Just don't listen to me if I snap again, I don't mean it." She explained wiping her eyes. "Well I'm Chandler." Chandler introduced. "I'm Phoebe." Phoebe announced smiling a little through her sadness. "I hope you don't mind me asking but erm, what's happened? You know, being at the hospital and stuff." Phoebe prompted. "I erm.well it's my girlfriend. Her name's Monica Geller. She got hit by a car." Chandler explained starting to cry again. "Oh god, I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do." Phoebe softly replied. "Yeah well, it's all my fault. You'd understand if you understood what had caused everything." Chandler added on. "What's your story?" "My Mom tried to kill herself, and the doctors said. they said it doesn't look like she's gonna make it." Phoebe declared beginning to cry herself. "Well I hope she'll be okay, Phoebe." Chandler said. "Me too." Phoebe chirped staring at the floor. "So tell me about your girlfriend. Is she pretty?" "She's the most beautiful girl I've ever known. Her hair is dark and so soft, and she has the cutest little smile. Just getting a quick glimpse of her smile makes me feel bright. And I love her eyes. They're this amazing emerald blue, and there's this little twinkle in them, just like a star. Everything about her is perfect to me. She's so kind and understanding and I adore her. I couldn't face a day without her, I'd just wake up every day and then realise, she's gone." Chandler explained. "I'd die without her." "Wow. You guys must really love each other." Phoebe suggested as she flicked through a magazine on the table in front of her. "I don't love her." Chandler snapped back. "What? But your horoscope says you do." Phoebe announced flapping the magazine around. "See? As Winter draws to the end you suffer a loss from your most loved. Even though a huge crisis has turned its ugly head, don't lose your love for this person. It's a very special bond of the heart which is rarely given out as a gift to those who truly love one another." "That's crazy, Phoebe. I don't love Monica, not yet." Chandler demanded feeling very strange. "Well your horoscope says so and it sounds like it to me. Look let's try the tarot cards, eh?" Phoebe requested fetching in a pocket. "Okay, I'm shuffling them.there we are. Now I'm gonna whisper my little charm over them you know to keep their spell healthy. And done. Now I want you to say 'How do I think of Monica Geller' then take 1 card." "Oh for god's sake-" "Do it!" "Okay, okay! 'How do I think of Monica Geller.'" Chandler recited. "Take a card." Phoebe ordered. "But don't turn it over." "Fine." Chandler replied snatching a card. "Now when I count to 5 turn it over. 1,2,3,4,5." Phoebe narrated. Chandler glanced down at the card. Love. "Aha! I knew it! You love her!" Phoebe giggled in a childish voice. "Look I don't, Phoebe I don't love her." Chandler cried chucking the card at her. "These cards aren't true!" "They so are!" Phoebe replied. "Oh god, I've forgotten to call Mon's parents I'll be right back." Chandler exclaimed trying hard to change the subject. As he got up a million screaming thoughts smashed into him. Did he love Monica? Did he? He couldn't love her, it was way too soon. "Just get the god damn love shit off your mind, Chandler. You've gotta focus now, okay? Its Monica's parents you've gotta explain to about everything. It's gonna be a very terrifying phone call. Just get with it." Chandler thought heading round the corner to the payphone. After paying, Chandler dialled the number. He felt sick. He was gonna struggle with the next 5 minutes; well it could be more. For a start they'd be furious at Chandler for loads of reasons, leaving Mon, causing her depression, the accident and so on. Then of course the whole love thing. Chandler was horrified of anything to do with love. But did he love Monica? "Hello?" called out Judy's voice. "Hi it's Chandler." Chandler introduced. "Oh it's you. I suppose you're wanting Monica? Well forget it, she doesn't exactly want to speak to you. Do you know what you've put Monica through?! Do you?! Depression! Every day she's crying whenever I see her, which isn't very often because she never leaves her room. She never eats, drinks, she hasn't been to school, and. Monica's tried to commit suicide. All thanks to you, you little-" "No Judy wait." "Don't you dare call me that! Address me as Mrs Geller thank you very much!" she snapped. "Now look what do you want?!" "Mrs Geller, it's really serious. Just please let me speak." Chandler pleaded heating up. "Well hurry up." Judy groaned sighing. "It's about Monica. she has, she." Chandler stuttered trying to control his tears. "Monica was hit down by a car. She's in the hospital and in intensive care." Before anything, Chandler heard Judy slam the phone down. She probably didn't believe him. All he hoped was that they would come to the hospital, or Monica would be devastated if they didn't. "Mr Bing? I have some news." The nurse from earlier on cried, as she walked towards him. "You do? Is it good?" Chandler burst out. "Well yes and no." she replied. "What's happened?" Chandler asked full of fear. "Miss Geller has been rushed into theatre for an operation. We've been able to stop the outside bleeding but, there's an eternal one as well. In the operation we are going to find it and stitch up the wound. Hopefully this should keep her stable and over time she will gain consciousness. But until the operation is over we don't know anything for sure." She explained. "Oh and here's your coffee." "Thanks." Chandler replied with a sigh of relief. "So what are Monica's chances?" "About 50-50." "Oh god. So it's like she either lives or dies? There's nothing else you can do?" Chandler questioned worriedly. "I'm afraid not. The operation's about 7 hours so until then." She announced heading off. So that was it. She either died or she didn't. Chandler couldn't believe what he was hearing. Monica the most precious person in his whole life, had a half chance of living. There was nothing he could do except wait till the end of the operation. "You okay Chandler?" Phoebe's voice asked from behind. "Monica's only got a 50-50 chance and it doesn't look good." Chandler explained as Phoebe wiped away his tears with the back of her hand. "I know, I heard. God, you don't know how sorry I am for you, Chandler." Phoebe replied. "The only thing you can do, is just believe she'll be okay." "Really?" Chandler questioned. "Yeah. It worked for me when my grandma was in hospital. She got better and then came out of here. Now I've gotta do the same for my Mom. I just say in my head 'She will be okay' over and over. And, I feel much better." Phoebe told. "I promise it works." "Thanks, Pheebs." Chandler thanked. He stared at her for a moment. She had the most beautiful face; soft, pale skin, rosy cheeks, perfect glossy lips, and her eyes, they were like crystals, so beautiful. The air around him grew intense and Chandler suddenly felt hot. Then Chandler realised what was happening. But, before he could stop anything he watched as Phoebe leant in and their lips met.  
  
"Phoebe!" yelled a voice. She tore her face away from Chandler's lips to look up. "Ursula? What do you want?" Phoebe cried. "You have a twin?" Chandler asked trying to avoid that guilt pain. "Duh! Of course!" Phoebe replied as Ursula came up to her. "Mom's gone into a coma! She's in a coma!!" Ursula sobbed. "Oh my god!" Phoebe gasped starting to cry too. "Come quick!" Ursula ordered dragging Phoebe off. He stared as they pelted off. Chandler had kissed Phoebe. He'd betrayed Monica miserably. Chandler couldn't believe it, they'd kissed. The whole memory of it was making Chandler feel sick. The guilt was so bitter in him, it physically ached. And then he really felt like he was gonna throw up. Chandler rushed to the nearest bathroom and crashed down by a basin. He was burning up. "Oh god, Chandler, just get with it." Chandler thought miserably to himself. "How could I kiss Phoebe? What was I thinking?! I'm such a bastard, I mean I can't believe it. I've betrayed Monica, my poor, little sweetheart who's dying, I've betrayed her." He splashed water onto his face, to cool him down. The water mixed with his tears as they fell down his cheek. He'd never felt so terrible in his whole life. Nothing was worse than this, and what was really sad, was that he had break Monica's heart at on stage. Chandler would have to tell Monica eventually, that's if she didn't die.  
  
Chandler suddenly woke up. He was on a couch in an empty hallway, except for a few doors with windows shut out by blinds. Had yesterday just been a dream? Had it? Was Monica okay and had never gone to the hospital? He didn't know. "Please make yesterday a dream. Please make it have never happened." Chandler pleaded in his mind as he sat up. There didn't seem to be anyone around. The whole corridor was silent and not a soul to be seen. Maybe he should go and open one of the doors? What was behind them? He didn't know. But maybe Chandler should take a peek. He slowly stood up. Everything was real enough to be true. Then, he took one step after the other towards the nearest door. He gathered all the courage he had and placed his hand on the doorknob. It was freezing. He turned it and the door flung open.  
  
"Mr. Bing? Mr. Bing?" Chandler felt his eyes gently open. It was just a dream. Yet, he was on the same couch, in the same corridor. "Mr. Bing we have some news." "Hmm?" Chandler mumbled as he sat up. There before him was Dr. Wittemans. "Mr. Bing, we have some news about Miss Geller." Dr. Wittemans announced flipping through the paper on his clipboard. "You do?" Chandler asked feeling anxious. "Yes, Mr. Bing." He replied. "Well as a result, Miss Geller has survived the operation which was successful." Chandler felt a sigh of relief fly through him. Monica was okay. He couldn't believe it. "But we're not out of the woods yet. Miss Geller is still in a serious condition which could be fatal. There are chances of a stroke, heart failure or a coma in the shadows. But, things are looking bright for Miss Geller if she continues to stay in the condition she's in now. Of course Miss Geller is unconscious and will remain that way for some time." "When can I see her?" Chandler questioned. "Right now if you wish." Dr. Wittemans clarified. "Thank you." Chandler said. He tip-toed over to the door. Everything was like it was in his dream. Placing his hand on the doorknob he flinched since it was so cold. It was kinda scaring him now. He then turned it and the door flung open. "Monica." Chandler gasped as he saw her weak and fragile body. It was as if he'd stepped into icy water; everything made him feel so guilty just seeing Monica in the condition she was in. Her skin was pale, and there was blood dried on it; there were bruises all along Monica's arms and legs and amongst them were a few cuts. She was hooked up to the machines and had a mask over her mouth and nose. But what hurt Chandler most, was that Monica had the most saddest, upset expression on her innocent face. He felt his body begin to tremble as he fell back into the chair next to the bed. "Oh my god Monica, what have I done to you?" Chandler whispered crying, as he took her limp hand. If only Chandler could tell her how sorry he was, how much he just wanted to feel her soft lips against his, it was all too painful. Just knowing there's still a great chance of that never happening, it was enough to kill Chandler. "Don't leave me, Mon, don't you ever go. I can't live without you. I need you to exist Monica, or else I just couldn't live with myself." Chandler whispered as he sobbed. The tears were falling faster than they ever had done in his life. He'd done this to her, it was all his fault. All he wanted to do was show Monica how sorry he was. He gazed at her longingly.  
  
Even though Monica was in a terrible condition, she still was beautiful. She was too irresistible to stare at; Chandler was desperate to hold her, kiss her, he so badly wanted her touch. Chandler stroked her hair. It was so soft and it calmed Chandler's mind.  
  
Maybe this was as close as Chandler was ever gonna get to Monica, if she didn't make it.  
  
His lips brushed against hers desperately. Monica's lips were so soft and delicate, it was as if she was kissing him back.  
  
Chandler let his mind run free at this moment. All he wanted was for Monica to wake up and they could be together again.  
  
"I-I love you Monica." Chandler announced. He was stunned at what had come out of his mouth. He loved her. But, Chandler couldn't love Monica, not this soon. He took some deep breaths, closed his eyes and thought. There was a very simple way to calm it over the whole I-love-you shit. "Okay, I can do this. There's no need to panic its no big deal. Just face it, I love Monica and that's a good thing right? Yes that's good. I should love Monica, I mean she's the greatest person I've ever met." Chandler wondered. It was a great thing, after all Monica would be so happy to see that Chandler did love her. That's if Monica survived. Chandler suddenly felt his heart soften and then he relaxed. He was ok with it. He really was. "If you wake up, Mon, I promise to love you and treat you however you want forever. I swear." Chandler whispered with tears in his eyes, as he kissed her forehead. 


	8. I won't leave you again

He sat there thinking about how happy Monica was gonna be when she woke up. Chandler just couldn't wait until she did. It would be perfect; they'd be back together again the moment he told Monica that he loved her. Maybe she'd be happy enough to forgive Chandler for everything he'd done wrong. Abandoning her, causing her to run in front of a car, and... kissing Phoebe. He'd totally forgotten about it. Now Chandler realised he was gonna have to tell Monica soon, she might even find out on her own. That would be the worst thing that could happen. But Chandler had no choice. "Hi." A voice called out. Chandler turned his head to see Phoebe. She looked like hell; her eyes were bloodshot and very watery and her cheeks were practically stained with tears. "Phoebe what's wrong?" Chandler asked. "Mom's dead." Phoebe whispered before braking down into tears. "Oh my god, that's awful." Chandler cried pulling her into his arms. "I can't believe it, I really thought she'd live..." Phoebe sobbed burying her face into Chandler's chest. "It'll be okay." Chandler announced stroking her hair. "No it won't, nothing ever is. Now Mom's gone I've got nothing; she's kept me who I am. Since my Dad ran off Mom worked so hard to keep me happy. Now she's gone, my life will go under." Phoebe groaned. "No it won't. You've got your sister." Chandler explained. "Oh yeah, Ursula will make me very happy." Phoebe replied sarcastically. "Okay, erm... well you've got me." "Yeah, but when we leave the hospital we'll loose contact." "No we won't. I'll look after you for as long as you want and we'll be friends forever." "No more than just friends?" Chandler felt it hit him as if she'd just slapped him. How could they be friends if he'd kissed her before? It was too awkward, and not so hard to miss. There was so much guilt lurking in Chandler's mind; the whole memory of it all was enough to drive him crazy. He sighed as he stared at the floor. Phoebe knew the answer, it was too clear. "Maybe it's not such a good idea if we keep in contact." Phoebe suggested solemnly. "I just don't know weather it would be a good idea. I mean if Mon and I got back together, don't you think if we all joined up we'd feel a bit weird? You know the whole feeling of what happened." Chandler explained. "I see." Phoebe whispered not looking at Chandler. "No, Phoebe, I still like you and everything, please understand. You know how the situation is it's just too difficult. I like you, I really do, but don't you think it'll cause problems?" Chandler pleaded squeezing her hand. "I suppose." Phoebe replied with a sigh. "I don't wanna ruin what you have with Monica, well what's left of what you have." "Yeah. Just don't you ever think I don't like you. Phoebe, you're such a great friend to me even though we've basically only just met. You're a very special person." Chandler announced. "Really?" "Really. But, I will try to see you again. I swear." Chandler said. "Thanks." Phoebe thanked hugging him. "Well I suppose I'd better go." "Okay." Chandler spoke watching her climb off his lap. "Here's my number if you wanna chat." Phoebe chirped handing him a piece of paper. "Bye, Chandler." "See ya soon, Pheebs." Chandler mumbled with a final wave as she exited. She was gone. Perhaps forever if things worked out with Monica. It was so saddening, just watching her leave. It could have been something special, it really could've. Even though Chandler had only known Phoebe for a day they were great friends. And no more than just friends. "I should focus on Monica now, her survival is important." Chandler thought reaching for her limp hand. And at that moment Chandler noticed something. He stared harder at what he had seen not believing his eyes. "Oh my god..." Chandler gasped. Across her wrist lay a thick, deep scar. "It can't be..." Chandler gaped again running his finger over her wrist. "It just can't be..." But it was what he dreaded it most to be. A mark from her suicide attempt. He gently reached for her other hand. Another scar. Chandler felt dazed. Monica had tried to commit suicide during their time apart. But what made it worse, was the guilt in knowing he did it. It was his fault. If he'd caused her such distraught and pain from all this, what was gonna happen when she woke up?  
  
What if she didn't want to be with Chandler anymore? She might be really mad at him and never wanna speak to him ever again. Oh god that would be a nightmare. I mean, Chandler had dated tons of girls, then fallen in love, lasted months and months, before finally something caused them to break up. It happened all the time. But Chandler had never loved anyone as much as Monica. She was special, seriously special. There was just something about her, something which the moment you discover it, you never ever wanna lose it. It was like a curse, but a wonderful curse. But Chandler had no idea what 'it' was. All he could think of was that he had an obsession with Monica; he needed her touch like the air to breathe. Chandler just would never let go of Monica, whatever happened. He gazed down at her. She was so beautiful, everything about her was perfect. "I love you so much, Mon." Chandler thought, kissing her fingertips. The tears slid down his cheek wetting her hand. He couldn't help crying, it just seemed to happen without even thinking about it. As Chandler stared at her face, he noticed something. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, his breathing grew tight. Monica's eyes were flickering a little. "Mon?" Chandler whispered just praying she was waking up. "Monica? Can you hear me?" His voice was trembling as he spoke. Chandler was desperate to hear Monica's beautiful voice again. He needed her so badly. Suddenly Monica's eyes gradually opened. They were dangerously bloodshot with that perfect blue, but the little starlight twinkle had gone. "Oh my god, Monica, you're okay." Chandler cried feeling the happiness drift into him again. She slowly turned her head to look at him; Monica had always had a deathly pale face but now it was so ghostly it seemed alarming. She was so ill, even Chandler had expected her to be better than this. "What have I done to you?" Chandler whispered stroking her hair for the millionth time. She had never looked so exhausted. You could see it was hard for Monica to keep her eyes open. They were quite droopy and incredibly watery. Or was that the tears forming in her eyes? "Chandler..." Monica mouthed with no sound coming out except a little whisper. "It's okay, sweetie, I'm here," Chandler murmured as she started to cry. "I'll never leave you ever again. I swear. "I can't believe I did all this to someone as kind and wonderful as you Mon. I just don't know why I ran out. When you spoke in your sleep about loving me I was so scared you know, I felt like it was too soon. I know what I did was stupid, I was such a fucked up bastard. I know I hurt you and put you where you are, but please Monica, forgive me. I shouldn't have left you alone when I knew that you loved me, I should've stayed and told you. Letting you go was the biggest mistake I've ever made." Chandler explained crying with her. "I love you so much Monica."  
  
He felt her flinch a little as he spoke. Chandler had told her, the worry was almost gone. Now all he hoped was for forgiveness. "I...don't...know..." she murmured finding it so hard to speak. "I know I've treated you like dirt, but I promise I'll treat you better, I'll never leave your side, I'll stay with you forever, just please forgive me." Chandler announced starting to sob. "Don't...cry..." Monica mumbled trying so hard to keep her eyes open as barely any words came out.  
  
She wiped away his tears with her hand as he cried. Chandler just wouldn't stop crying, he was practically in fits of tears. Maybe Monica should give him another chance, after all he did seem really sorry. But what scared Monica the most was that what if he left her again? She knew just how she couldn't do it again, it'd probably put an end to dating for Monica. Depression had beaten her last time, how could she ever have the strength to suffer for the second time? Monica wasn't sure weather dating Chandler was worth the risk. I mean, it's not like they would be together forever, after all they were both only sixteen. But for all she knew she could well end up spending the rest of her life with Chandler. But was it a risk Monica was willing to take? "I'll...give you...one....last...chance..." Monica murmured squeezing his hand. "Oh my god, really?" Chandler gasped. "We can...try...to...work this...relationship...again..." Monica whispered. "Thank you so much Monica, I just can't believe you would forgive me. I promise to work better at this relationship and I'll always look after you. Forever." Chandler replied kissing her forehead. His tears started to disappear as he thought more and more about Monica. Everything was working out the right way, well so far. "I love you Monica." Chandler whispered smiling at her. Her little face lit up as she smiled at him. She couldn't believe it, Chandler actually loved her back. After a long, passionate kiss with Chandler she fell into a deep sleep. Monica seemed a little calmer than it did before, not quite as tense. As time passed Chandler just gazed down at Monica, breathing in, breathing out. "Chandler." A cruel voice snapped from behind. "Mr. Geller? What are you doing here?" Chandler asked feeling worried as he saw him and Judy. They looked exhausted as both Mr. and Mrs. Geller stood by the open door. Finally they had come even though Judy didn't believe Chandler at first. Both of them had tears in their eyes at the state of Monica. All Chandler could think about was what they were gonna do. "Oh my god, Monica!" Judy squealed rushing over to her to daughter in sobs. "How dare you treat Monica this way." Jack cried approaching him. "What the hell were you thinking when you left her?!" "Jack calm down-" Judy sobbed, as she collapsed down by her daughter's side. "You have no idea what she's been through do you? A sick fuck like you wouldn't care! Get out!" Jack yelled as Judy stood not knowing what to do. "But Mr. Geller I-" "I don't care for your load bullshit you have as an excuse, just get out and don't come back! I don't want you seeing Monica ever again!" "You can't do that!" "Oh just watch me, I'll do whatever I want. Monica's my daughter so I can tell her what to do. When she wakes up I'm gonna tell her she's never to see you again and you, if I catch you with Monica, I swear I'll kill you!!" Jack shouted. "Get out!" "No! I'm staying with Monica because I love her!" "Shut up!" Jack screamed. "Excuse me but is anything wrong? I heard shouting." A doctor asked poking his head round the door. "Yes, this man won't leave!" "Look sir I need you to leave." The doctor explained to Chandler. "No I'm staying here." Chandler snapped. "Look just get outside before I call security." The doctor threatened. In his fury Chandler stomped past them out into the corridor not turning back. He'd never been more angry in his whole life. That stupid bastard, Jack Geller, he had no right to do that. What was Chandler gonna do though? How could he cope without Monica? Or even worse, how was Monica gonna cope without Chandler? He just couldn't even imagine how Monica would react. It would kill her to hear it.  
  
But he couldn't let them win, he just couldn't. There must be a way that he could still see Monica. It wouldn't work at school, they'd would explain to the teachers about everything and they'd be banned at school from seeing each other. That was the only way they'd ever meet. It all seemed so impossible. Chandler just couldn't let her go though, he was gonna fight for Monica. She meant the whole world to him. There must be a way, somehow.  
  
1 year later  
  
He felt the cold breeze around him piercing into his skin. It was so icy, even the warm coat he wore was too thin. But Chandler wasn't gonna back off now, this was the only way he'd ever see Monica again. He breathed in and out trying to calm himself. Chandler felt very tense; the freezing midnight air didn't help. He slowly edged towards the tree next to Monica's window, just praying he was able to climb it. As Chandler reached for the nearest branch he gazed up at Monica's window. "Please be in your room." He begged pulling himself up onto the branch. There weren't any lights on in her bedroom nor anywhere else in the house. Everyone must've been asleep; well it was the middle of the night. He climbed up a little further trying hard not to scrape his knees on the rough bark of the tree. Chandler was being scratched a lot though, the branches were everywhere. The awful thought of slipping was stuck in his mind. It scared him so much, thinking that he might then never even have the chance to see Monica again. He needed to get it out of his mind terribly. He thought of Monica, her beautiful face, her adorable little smile, her sweet voice, everything pleased Chandler when it came to Monica. She was wonderful in his eyes, just pure perfection. Up a little bit more he climbed, struggling to keep a hold of the tree. It was so slippery as he grabbed the branches. Frost and ice had affected the tree, but the thicker ice lay at the top of the tree. Within a moment Chandler was on the side next to Monica's window. The window sill was about 2 metres away from him. It only required Chandler to jump, catch a hold, and then pull himself up. But with so much ice around that was almost impossible. What if he slipped? The fall would kill him. But Chandler was so desperate to see Monica, he was gonna risk his life just to see her, maybe for the last time.  
  
He took a deep breath then leapt.  
  
Chandler felt the brick wall smack into him.  
  
His cold hands grasped for the ledge.  
  
He held on for dear life as he came to grips with everything. Trying to pull himself up was another thing though. The ice was so slippery every time Chandler moved he felt his hands sliding. "Oh god damn it." Chandler muttered trying so hard to pull himself up. And then there he was. Chandler had done it. His breath was a little shaky from the fright just before, but now he was feeling a little calmer. Carefully turning to face the window he stared in.  
  
Monica was in her room. Chandler felt a sigh of relief fly out of him. She was lying on her bed in her PJs, just staring into space. As she typed away, Chandler saw how miserable she was. Monica's face hadn't changed much since he last saw her. She still had lots of little cuts across her face and arms, all the cuts were still there. Her skin was still as pale as ever, her beautiful eyes were bloodshot, and she had tears in them too. It was breaking Chandler's heart just taking a glimpse of this. He couldn't stand it. Very quietly he taped on the glass. She jumped with fright giving a little gasp, but then saw Chandler's face. He stared at her as her face lit up. Monica looked so pleased as she crept over to the window. "I love you." She mouthed to him, opening the stiff window. "I love you too." Chandler mouthed back. Finally the window was open and Chandler slipped in. He kissed her over and over longing for her touch. Chandler just didn't want to let go, he'd missed her too much. "Oh my god, what are you doing here?" Monica whispered between their kisses. "I couldn't leave you, Mon, I just couldn't do it." Chandler replied holding her close in his arms. She started to cry a little. Monica had been through hell lately and without Chandler things had gotten worse. Chandler would look after her so well, telling her he loved her and would kiss her over and over. Monica had nearly lost what she needed most. It felt so good to have her with him again. Her scent was so comforting, it relaxed Chandler's mind after the whole worry of never seeing Monica. But he'd found her, they were reunited. And Chandler wasn't gonna let her go this time. "The year we've spent apart finally got to me, Mon, I tried o get over you, I really did, but I-I couldn't leave you. I thought I'd never see you again." Chandler told her, not letting go of her. "Me too. I can't believe my parents would do that to us. But I'm so glad you came back to me." Monica replied, their hands entwined. "I thought that was it, the end of our relationship." "I'm not gonna leave this time. I won't let them separate us again. We'll stay together forever, right?" Chandler asked. "I don't wanna ever leave you." Monica announced as their lips brushed against each others again. After just a few moments they fell back onto her bed, since the kiss had got so passionate. It was such a romantic kiss, almost like the ones you see in movies. Just a few moments later, they both broke the kiss desperate for air. Monica curled up as close as she could to Chandler. He sat up a little and just gazed down at her. She was so fragile, just the thought of losing her again was horrible. "I love you so much, Mon." Chandler whispered, as she leant in to kiss him again. Chandler loved the way she kissed, it made him feel warm inside, just knowing that she loved to kiss him too. Her lips were so soft, Chandler was desperate for them every time Monica kissed him. He cupped her face with his hands pulling Monica's face as close as he could to him. Chandler ran his fingers through her soft hair as their kiss grew more and more fiery. Monica could feel his tongue making its way round her mouth, battling against hers. Monica was so strong when it came to kissing, she'd always beat him when it came to the whole tongue thing. But it didn't bother Chandler that much. It all felt too good to worry about. After a few moments they both broke the kiss, once again gasping for air. Chandler smiled at her. "I got you something." Chandler announced reaching into his pocket. "You did?" Monica requested, a smile creeping on her face. "Yep." Chandler replied, pulling out a little velvet box. He opened the lid to reveal a beautiful gold necklace with a heart-shaped locket. It was just like the one Chandler had given to her through Rachel, before she lost it on the road. "Oh my god, oh my god Chandler it's beautiful." Monica squealed as she opened the little locket. There were 2 miniature pictures of her and Chandler. "Is it ok? Do you really like it?" Chandler questioned worriedly. "I love it Chandler." Monica whispered, her eyes boring into his. "Since you kinda lost your other necklace at the car accident I thought I'd get you another one, coz Rach told me how much you loved it and I-I wanted to make you happy." Chandler murmured. "You're so sweet." Monica spoke as her whole face seemed to light up. "Can you put it on for me?" "Ok." Chandler announced taking the necklace out of the box. She watched as his gentle hands pulled the gold chain round her neck, before fastening the little clip at the back. "I love you so much." She explained, gazing down at the locket. "I love you too." Chandler replied pulling her closer to him.  
  
"Your parents are asleep right?" Chandler questioned, their hands entwined. "Uh-huh, so is Ross." Monica replied as he fiddled with Monica's tiny, little hands. "How long have you been up?" Chandler requested once again. "I erm, I-I don't sleep very well anymore." Monica explained quietly as she fiddled with her necklace. "Why?" "You know why." Her eyes began to prickle at the whole thought. It just wasn't fair. How could her parents do this to her? Monica had been through enough lately. "Well I'm here now." "I know." "So are you gonna be okay?" "No." Monica replied sighing. "Why not?" Chandler asked. "Well we can't meet in secret forever. Mom and Dad'll catch us one day." Monica explained sadly. "No they won't." Chandler corrected. "What do you mean?" Monica questioned as she sat up. "We'll meet in secret for a while then one day when we love each other enough to be together always, we'll just tell them." Chandler announced dreamily. "Yeah like that's ever gonna happen." Monica groaned. "It will. I swear." Chandler promised pulling her onto his lap. "We'll get married someday, and then find a little place outside the city where we can start a family. We'd have 4 children who all looked as beautiful as you, and then there'd be a little dog who'd play with our kids all day, it'd be perfect. We'd have each other forever, never to be split up." "But by then we'd have probably broken up or something." Monica clarified.  
  
"Why do you think that?" Chandler questioned. "Well it'll be hard trying to keep a relationship this way and things will be tough on us." Monica illustrated. "It won't if we work hard at our relationship." Chandler suggested kissing the top of her head. She rested her head against his shoulder. All Monica could picture was that little image Chandler had painted, the kids, the house, everything. It was such a soothing sensation, almost sending shivers up her spine. She felt her eyes close gently, lulling herself to sleep in Chandler's arms, before everything disappeared into a warm, comforting darkness.  
  
~*~  
  
She lay dreamily on her bed thinking back to the past 5 hours. It was so comforting just remembering how Chandler had been in her room making her feel wanted. They hadn't had sex or anything, since the situation wasn't right but still. The last thing she remembered was those beautiful blue eyes gazing into hers, before she finally drifted off into a deep sleep. But what made her happier, was the fact that Chandler was back in her life and hopefully to stay there. "Monica?" It was Judy. "Hi." Monica quietly spoke, sitting up. "I need to talk to you about something." Judy explained sitting down next to her. "Ok." Monica replied. "Last night I heard voices coming from your room. You were talking to someone from what it sounded like. I've been a little concerned." Judy announced sharply. "Oh god." Monica muttered under her breath. Judy had heard them. She'd heard Monica speaking to. What if she was to find out about Chandler? "Are you sure you're okay Monica? Jack and I have wondered if you've been talking to yourself. I know you miss that Chandler you were dating a while ago and things have been at their worst at home, but don't you think it's time to let it go? Maybe you should get some therapy-" "Look Mom, I'm not crazy!" "I didn't say you were crazy just you know, maybe you've been a bit more than just depressed." "I know what you're trying to say Mom, so face it, I'm not crazy! I'm not a complete freak who's gone mental, I'm fine!" Monica yelled. "Oh for god's sake, I know you're not crazy. Just maybe you need some help from therapy that's all." Judy corrected getting a bit frustrated. "Well no thank you. I'll be okay." Monica hissed sighing. At that Judy left without another word. Sure Monica had been pretty mean, but she could've found out about Chandler. That would be the worst thing to happen.  
  
~*~  
  
"Where the heck were you last night?" Jade yelled down the phone. "I was out." Chandler explained. "You were out at 12pm? Yeah like you really would do that. Look I was trying to phone you last night! God I wish you hadn't moved out Chan." Jade moaned. "Well what do you want?" Chandler asked getting fed up. "Mom was called in to school on Friday because someone's parents don't want you to have any contact with some student." Jade announced. "Yeah I know." Chandler replied. "Tell me what's going on?" Chandler just couldn't be bothered to explain to his step-sister about everything. It could lead a trail to Monica's Mom and Dad, that Chandler had been seeing Monica secretly. Without a moment to spare, Chandler hung up. Finally he'd escaped from the boredom of chatting to Jade. Then the phone rang again. "What?!" Chandler shouted answering his phone. "Excuse me?" a familiar voice cried out. "Oh god I'm sorry Mon, I thought you were someone else." Chandler explained feeling humiliated. "That's okay, sweetie. Well I've gotta make this quick coz my parents are around." Monica said quietly. "Mom and Dad heard us last night, well they heard me talking to someone. They think I was talking to myself so Mom was trying to get me therapy." "Really?" Chandler gasped. "Yeah. Maybe we should meet somewhere else at night, I don't want my parents to hear us." Monica suggested. "Ok, well how bout' I pick you up same time as last night, and we go back to my place." "Fine by me, so you'll collect me when?" Monica requested. "How bout' tonight?" Chandler announced. "Ok. Look I gotta go, Chandler." Monica explained getting even quieter. "Ok, I love you Mon." Chandler said. "I love you too, Chandler." Monica whispered just before hanging up.  
  
~*~  
  
"Who were you on the phone to?" Jack asked curiously as Monica came out of her room. "Erm I-I was phoning erm Rachel. Yeah I was phoning Rach." Monica lied baking away. She rushed out of the corridor and towards the stairs. Man, that had been so close. Suddenly someone snatched her. "Let go of me-" "You're meeting Chandler aren't you?" Ross whispered letting go of her as they stood by the stairs. "No I'm not-" "You so are I heard you through the door." Ross explained slurring his s's. "Are you drunk?" Monica questioned, shocked. "Nooo c-course I'm not." Ross replied giggling. At the same moment his face hardened a little. "You're in big big big trouble Missss Monica Geller." Ross hissed cornering her. "Oh god, you know about it all. Look Ross, please don't tell Mom and Dad I'm begging you not to!" Monica pleaded feeling ill with fear. "But that would be disobeying Mom and Dad! I can't do that t-to them!" Ross explained. "Oh for god's sake just get over it Ross, you can disobey them once in a while! Just please keep quiet about it!" Monica begged getting irritated. "No! I'm telling Mom!" Ross announced childishly, as he jogged off. "No Ross don't!!" Monica shrieked grabbing him by the arm. "Please I'll do anything for you just don't tell them." "You mean anything?" Ross asked. "Uh huh." Monica replied feeling so desperate. "Well we'll have it this way. You know that Joey Tribbiani at sssccchool?" Ross asked grinning slightly. "Yeah." Monica said. "For weeks him and sssome guy called David have been looking for a whore..." Ross explained starting to chuckle. "Oh no no no, I am not doing that!" Monica refused getting a little angry. "Never mind I'll just go talk to Mom about you and C-C-Chandler-" "Ok ok! I'll do it. Just promise you won't tell?" Monica sighed furiously. "If you promise to do thisss for Joey and David." Ross explained. "When?" Monica asked as her eyes began to prickle. "Tomorrow night I think. They're a little desperate so you'll do the trick. I'll give them a call and let them know." "Fine." Monica replied running back to her room before she burst into tears. She slammed the door before falling back onto her bed. The tears freely swept down her cheeks just thinking about what was gonna happen. How could she sleep with Joey and David? Well Monica had no choice, Chandler would understand. He would understand right? "Oh god, what am I gonna do?" Monica whined, gazing down at the little picture of them together in her locket. "I'll have to betray you just to stay with you."  
  
~*~  
  
She heard the little taps on her window. It was Chandler. Her whole face lit up as she rushed over to let him in. "Hey sweetie." He whispered as she opened the stiff window. "So are you ready to go?" "Uh-huh." Monica replied kissing his lips for a short moment. As he helped her climb down from her bedroom, Monica could not help but feel sick with guilt. Just that thought of in exactly 12 hours time she'd be sleeping with some other man. It would break Chandler's heart if he knew, even if he knew the whole story. After a while just looking Chandler in the eyes was killing her. She could feel the tears at the verge of spilling out her eyes. But Monica had to keep quiet about it, she couldn't let him know.  
  
Within the moment Chandler became aware of how uncomfortable Monica seemed as they reached the car. "Mon, are you okay?" Chandler questioned as they climbed into his car. "Yeah, I'm fine, w-what made you think I'm not?" Monica replied staring away. "Well you seem a little irritated; is something wrong?" Chandler requested a little curious. "For god's sakes Chandler, I'm fine!" Monica snapped still keeping his glance away from him. "Are you sure? I mean you can tell me anything, sweetie, don't ever think you can't." Chandler explained a little hurt. "I know that." She replied quietly. He turned her face with his hand to look at him. She looked so troubled, Chandler could see it all in her eyes. Within that moment, Chandler leant in and their lips met. He ran his hands through her hair, pulling her closer and closer. Monica could feel his tongue in her mouth, the sensation sending shivers up her spine. Yet, no matter how wonderful it all felt, Monica could not help but want him to stop. It wasn't hurting her physically, it all came from inside, and the pain was getting immense. As the kiss grew more intense, he started to push her backward onto her back. By now Monica felt like she could die of the pain.  
  
"Stop Chandler..." Monica whispered as he started unbuttoning her shirt. "Why?" Chandler groaned. "Because erm... I-I don't feel comfortable having sex in a car." Monica lied, gently pushing him away a little. "Oh come on Monica..." Chandler whined, now kissing all down her neck. "No, please stop Chandler," Monica cried out in a louder tone. "Why don't you want to do this sweetie?" Chandler questioned sitting up. "I do." Monica replied quietly. "I haven't made love to you in over a year, Mon, I-I haven't made love to anyone since you because I've been so desperate for you. Don't you want the same?" Chandler asked softly. "You know I want you more than anything, Chandler." Monica murmured. "Then what's stopping you?" Chandler requested. "I don't know." Monica lied.  
  
"What do you mean, 'you don't know'? How can you not know Mon?" Chandler asked staring hard at her. "Look do we really have to make a big deal out of this?!" Monica snapped furiously. "No, I-I just really worry about you." Chandler replied taking her hand. "Really?" Monica whispered. "Yes." Chandler announced taking a deep breath. "Oh." Monica murmured. "Just tell me why you're not wanting this, sweetie. Do I make you feel uncomfortable when we have sex or something? Do I-I hurt you?" Chandler requested, worry and pain in his tone. "You don't hurt me it's-it's just-" "But I do don't I? I've been hurting you haven't I?" Chandler burst out with a gasp. "No of course not." She proclaimed desperately. "Well then w-what am I doing wrong?" Chandler questioned once again. "If you really don't want this then I wish you'd just say so, Mon." Monica could feel herself hesitating on what to say. Should she tell him the truth? Should she try and beg for his forgiveness as she told him? Chandler's eyes followed hers as they gazed up at him. Her whole expression seemed blank. "Mon?" Chandler whispered. "Are you ok-" But he was cut off by Monica, who reached for his hand. "What're you doing?" Chandler asked as she placed his hand on her chest. "Touch me." She illustrated, far quieter than a whisper. "What?" Chandler spoke feeling the warmth from her soak into his hand. "Touch me." Monica pleaded for the second time. "Really?" Chandler gaped slightly. Trembling slightly, her head automatically nodded. Everything in Monica's sight grew blurred, everything just faded. She was about to feel Chandler's soft, gentle touch for the first time in over a year. It was something they'd both craved and pleaded for for so long, that they'd been given it back.  
  
~*~  
  
The Next Day  
  
"Monica I-I've just got off the phone with David." Ross announced gloomily. "You did? So have you got me out of this whole thing?" Monica requested. "I couldn't, I mean they wouldn't take no for an answer." Ross replied feeling the guilt wash over him like a wave. "I'm so sorry Monica." "You better be sorry, I mean just look at me!!" Monica squealed tears forming in her eyes. "I know Mon, I'm so sorry, I-I can't believe I've done this to you." Ross proclaimed starting to well up at what he'd done. "I'm the worst brother in the world." She glared at him as he flopped onto her bed, his head in his hands. Monica had never seen him so distressed, well, since the time when he tried to kill her.  
  
"Well you were drunk, I mean you can't do anything about that." Monica explained quietly as she sat down next to him. "Well can't you at least make up for it for David and Joey somehow?" "Don't you think I've tried that? I mean Joey is just plain old mean, and David is a complete bully, I'm telling you. Last time I let them down, they messed up my 500 piece puzzle!!" Ross exclaimed sighing at the thought of it. Ross felt like crying his eyes out. What had he done? His drunkenness 2 days ago had ruined everything for his little sister. "You know I love you so much, Monica." Ross murmured, Monica's eyes boring into his. "I know." Monica replied wiping away the tears which had from his eyes. "This is just something I've gotta do." Ross explained as they both cried. "Time to go Mon." Ross announced helping her up.  
  
"What about Mom and Dad?" Monica asked trying so hard to get out of it. "They're out." Ross replied taking her hand as they stepped out the front door. "Now everything's gonna be okay Mon, I swear it will. I'll only be gone like an hour-" You're leaving me there on my own?" Monica cried getting into the car. "I've got to Mon, I mean you don't want me there when you start taking your clothes off right?" Ross joked desperately trying to cheer her up. "No." Monica said quietly. "Ok. Well I'll be gone just an hour, I swear I won't be late. If you need me at all, for anything, call me, ok?"  
  
"K." Monica whispered feeling a tear slide down her cheek. "Please don't cry sweetie," Ross whispered, his heart sinking at the sight of her. "I'm sorry I can't help it." Monica murmured with a trembling voice. As they climbed into his car, Ross sighed. He couldn't believe what was happening.  
  
Monica stared out the window through her tears. It was something she just had to do. My god they'd messed up. "What's making you not want to do this?" "I-I just don't want to do this Ross, I'm gonna be betraying Chandler, I mean I love him more than life itself." She whispered trying to hide her sobbing.  
  
Monica didn't want to really look at Ross. He was her brother, shoving her into prostitution. Yeah sure he'd been drunk and had tried so hard to get her out of this, but everything was just a nightmare.  
  
After a long silence he stopped the car outside a huge apartment building. It was in a horrid area full of graffiti and litter blowing around in the wind. No one was around. "We're here." Ross said pulling Monica out the car. They slowly drifted through the doors and up the tall flight of stairs. Still there was no one to be seen. "So Mon, remember what I told you to do okay?" Ross told. "You can call me when you've had enough sweetie," "Yes." Monica murmured not able to look him in the eyes. She felt so dirty in her tarty clothes and being hired as a whore. Monica just couldn't believe what was happening. It was something Monica thought she would never ever have to do, but she had no choice. Ross suddenly stopped at a door and knocked. "That must be Joey and David's apartment." Monica wondered. "Hey Ross." A guy greeted opening the door. Monica's eyes stared upwards to meet him. Monica had never seen this guy before, he was so gorgeous, well, it wasn't Joey that's for sure. He had the most mysterious grey eyes which seemed to gleam and had midnight-dark floppy hair. He wore a silver medallion round his neck with a skull on it, and had a pierced eyebrow which glittered in the light. He practically towered over both Monica and Ross in height, but had the most muscular chest and arms Monica had ever seen. He wore huge, baggy jeans which literally dragged along the floor, and he had (once again) a baggy, black SlipKnot shirt on. In fact he kinda reminded her of someone from the rock band, Good Charlotte.  
  
"Hey David." Ross replied as Joey brought them both in. "Where's Joey?" "He can't make it tonight. He's at a pizza eating marathon down town with some friend. Plus I didn't really have a chance to tell him either, he took off too early." "Oh ok." "Would you look at that? You brightened the bitch up a little." David announced, as he checked Monica out. "Now you can actually use the term of 'slut' and it actually means for real!" "Hey don't call her that." Ross snapped a little too harshly. "Whatever, dude." David muttered flipping his shaggy, raven hair out of his face. As the two spoke further, Monica gazed around the apartment, knowing it was about to be where her 2nd sex would take place. David was definitely a Goth, seeing as the place was filled with dark, mysterious objects. The walls were a navy blue, covered with tons of rock band's posters, there was a leather couch by the huge viewful window behind a little coffee table. He had a top-of-the-range stereo in between 2 CD racks, which were filled to the brim with CDs by the door, and last but not least, an electric guitar displayed on the wall. "So how bout' $70?" David suggested fetching his wallet from the table. "Ok." Ross said rather uncomfortably as David handed over the money. "So do you wanna for about an hour?" "Dunno, how bout' 3." David explained. Ross looked towards Monica. She didn't want her brother to get in trouble with this jerk. Holding back her tears she nodded. "Ok,." Ross told. "Oh and one more thing, go easy on her David." "I'll do what I can." David called out, a little bit of sarcasm there. "I'm sorry Monica." Ross whispered in Monica's ear as he hugged her tense body. "See ya around." Ross spoke heading for the door. "Bye." David said as Ross left. Monica watched as he locked the door. She felt so scared at this moment she was trembling. "You've had sex before right?" David asked approaching her. She nodded slightly trying her hardest not to cry in front of this jerk. "With anyone else but Chandler?" David questioned snarling a little. "No." Monica murmured feeling ever so uncomfortable. "Well that speaks for itself." David muttered nastily. And just like that, Monica burst into tears. She couldn't take another moment of this torture. It was bad enough just knowing she had to go through with the whole thing, but with all the awful things David was saying? "Oh quit crying." David hissed getting angry. Monica just couldn't stop. She was just letting out all the sadness which had bottled up inside. "Look can we just get on with it and you stop crying?!" David snapped rolling his eyes. "I can't do this..." Monica sobbed.  
  
"Look I know this is hard but you're here to do this for me." David announced sharply, his face now inches away from hers. "I'm gonna make this easier for you Monica." "What do you mean?" Monica asked.  
  
She stared up at his face, a grin curling at the corner of his lips. "Chandler was always the gentle sort, never even a little bit on the rough side." David explained standing behind her to massage her shoulders. "I can show you what sex is really like, I can go to the limits whenever, sweetheart." "W-what are you trying to say?" "I've always had a little thing for you Monica. Always wanted to feel your lips, feel your soft skin, just to have you with me is great. If you agree to have sex with me, I'll let you off the whole whore thing." "But isn't that what whore's do-" "Whores are like strippers. They just take their clothes off and let the guys enjoy, well, at least the one I had at my birthday last year did. Anyway, I just want you to make love to me, right here, right now." David explained holding her close from behind. "No..." "Just calm it, relax a little..." he murmured caressing her cheek with his fingers. His eyes slowly drifted down to hers before gazing into them. Monica could feel his breath against her face, breathing in, breathing out. David wiped away her tears just staring at her beautiful face. He was starting to scare her a little bit. Just the way he was talking and touching Monica was making her feel ill. "Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?" he murmured. "No." Monica lied. She knew perfectly well that wasn't true. It just scared her on to what might have happened if she'd said yes. But what made it worse was that Monica didn't seem to be able to control herself. "W-what are you doing?" Monica questioned ever so anxiously. He gently put a finger to her lips. "Don't say a word." He whispered before his lips brushed against hers. "No please don't...." she mumbled trying to fight away his lips as she spoke.  
  
They felt so soft against hers, the sensation sending shivers up her spine. David ran his fingers through her hair pulling her closer and closer. Monica could feel her heart beat beating faster and faster, as his tongue entered her mouth. She felt it caress across the roof of her mouth before she joined in. It felt so good, just so perfect, but Monica knew she couldn't lie to herself. There was just one sentence running through her mind. She hated the kiss. 


End file.
